So you’re sleeping with a married man and threatening to call his wife.
Maybe you’re hoping calling her would speed things up.
And then you can have her husband all to yourself.
Why not dump the married guy instead of calling his wife?
Yup! It’s a hard pill to swallow.
But dumping him might be the best decision you’d make.
So here’s how to stop having affairs with a married man.
DISCLAIMER: This post does not encourage anyone to have affairs with a married man.
I’m happily married to an amazing guy and have two sweet kids.
This post is to show you how to stop having affairs with married men.
Let’s dive in.
First, what you must know when sleeping with a married man
1. His wife is the victim, not him, and definitely not you
The first thing you must know when having an affair with a married man is that his wife is the victim.
And not you.
Because he’s the one who left his wife and maybe the mother of his kids to be with you.
And you knowingly agreed to sleep with him.
So no matter how much he tells you she’s a horrible partner and whatnot, he’s not the victim.
And don’t even sit on your high horse and call his wife a lousy partner.
If she was horrible, why haven’t they divorced?
Think about it.
2. He’s not going to leave his wife for you
Yes, it might sound harsh, but it’s true.
Your married man friend won’t leave his wife for you.
The bond or connection they have is more than what you give him.
Some married men who cheat still love their wives.
It may not make sense to you.
It doesn’t make sense to me too.
But if they say they love their wives but still cheat on them, what can you or I do about it?
So whether you doubt his love for her or not.
If he doesn’t leave her, you can do nothing about it.
3. Even if he leaves his wife for you, your relationship won’t last
Another thing you must know is that even if he leaves his wife for you, your relationship will likely fail.
And you know why?
Because of the foundation on which you both started your relationship.
You’d always be the woman he left his wife for.
4. A husband that leaves his family for another woman outside is not worth it
Also, a man that leaves his wife for you is a husband that wants to be taken.
Because good husbands value their wives.
And a man that’s willing to dump his wife for the next attractive woman he sees is not a man you want.
So you didn’t win anything special.
His wife would hurt for a while.
But she would thank you for taking away the inconsistent guy.
And one day, she would find a good man that treats her better than her messy husband.
5. He would resent you
And when his family is falling apart, he would begin to doubt if choosing you was right.
You know when he gets home, and his kids aren’t there to hug him welcome.
Or he starts missing the little things his wife does that he loves.
He won’t be able to hide how he feels anymore.
Then he would show you how much he regrets leaving his family for you.
And resentment would set in.
And your relationship will go downhill from there.
6. He would repeat the pattern with you.
You must know that he would do the same thing he did to his wife with you.
If he left his wife for you, he would leave you when he meets someone prettier than you.
I had a neighbor who was engaged to a lovely lady.
They lived together for some months.
Then he met some lady through his sister.
Mind you; the new lady knew he was engaged.
Yet, she stuck her head and continued seeing him.
Do you know what he did?
He broke up with his fiance.
And married the new woman.
Months into their marriage, they started having issues.
Then their marriage ended as quickly as it began.
She was heartbroken, but she moved on.
Now happily married to someone else.
And the man?
When his marriage with the new lady started failing, he realized his mistake.
Then he started calling and begging his ex to come back.
But she didn’t go back to him.
And the wife? Yes, the one who stuck her head to marry someone else’s fiance.
She was unhappy in the marriage.
So she moved out.
My point is…
Relationships started on such foundations most likely fail.
Why you feel you can call his wife when sleeping with a married man
You didn’t start feeling you were more important to him than his wife at the beginning of your affair.
He must have done or said one of these to drive this feeling:
He made you feel special and loved.
When having affairs with other women, some married men treat them nicely.
Maybe no guy has ever made you feel that special.
And also he must have spoilt you with gifts, pleasure and whatever.
Which can make you develop feelings.
And get emotionally attached to him.
He said he was unhappy in his marriage.
The most common thing most cheating husbands do is say they’re unhappy in their marriage.
So you’d feel sorry for him.
And you’d blame his wife for why your “boyfriend” is unhappy.
All he’s doing is so that you can give him more attention.
If you check, he might be happy in his marriage.
But he can’t keep his junk in the trunk.
And he wants to keep you around to sleep with whenever he feels like it.
But he’ll always go back home to his darling wife.
He badmouthed his wife to you.
Some cheating husbands even go as far as name-calling their wives.
Saying she’s the reason why they can be with you.
He might even tell you that if he had met you before her, he’d have married you instead.
And this can make you feel like she’s in your way of having your man all to yourself.
But remember, he’s her man.
He’s not your man.
He said he wanted you to be exclusive to him
Yup, he made you his mistress.
Some married men are selfish like that.
Maybe you had someone else or other potential partners.
But you ignored them to be exclusive with your married guy friend.
And now you discover he’s been leading you on.
I know it hurts.
But take a deep breath.
And think before you do anything.
How to stop having affairs with a married man: What to not do
Maybe you’ve been sleeping with the married man for months to years.
And now you see there’s no future for you in the affair.
And you’re getting desperate.
Here’s what you must not do:
Don’t call his wife if you’re sleeping with a married man
Please don’t call his wife, no matter what he’s told you.
You might feel like she’s in your way of getting your man.
But she’s not.
And if you call her, you’d only be hurting someone who has done nothing to deserve such treatment.
She would eventually find out her husband is cheating on her.
And she would be brokenhearted.
So channel your emotions to the husband, not his wife.
Leave her out of it.
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Don’t threaten to wreck his marriage.
What you must not do when sleeping with a married man is not threaten his marriage.
It wouldn’t benefit you in any way.
So let’s say you called his wife.
And you ruined their marriage.
Do you think he would now want to be with you?
Also, you’d be ruining any chance of him wanting to be with you.
If at all.
So please don’t threaten his marriage.
He’s already doing it himself.
And sooner or later, his wife will find out.
Don’t threaten his job if he won’t leave his wife for you.
Another thing you must not do is threaten his job if the married man you’re sleeping with doesn’t want to marry you.
Threatening to ruin his reputation or life won’t benefit you in any way.
Besides, going as far as trying to ruin his life makes you look like a crazy person.
And you may need professional help.
Also, if you succeed in ruining his life, you’d be hurting his family, who did nothing to you.
So what can you do then?
Here’s what to do to stop sleeping with a married man.
Agree that you made a mistake having an affair with him
You must first agree that you made a mistake getting emotionally involved with a married man.
And you have no one to blame but yourself.
You can’t blame him for coming to you.
Blame yourself for having an affair with him.
Accountability would help you move one step closer to healing.
See him for who he is – a user.
The next thing to do is see him for who he is – a user.
He made false promises.
And told you sweet nothings.
He used you for pleasure.
And he deceived his innocent wife as well.
So what is he?
He’s a freaking user.
He’s not your knight in shining armor.
And he’s also not his wife’s prisoner that you need to free.
He’s a user.
Know that his wife is the victim, not you
Another thing you must do is know that his wife is the victim.
Whether directly or indirectly, you’ve hurt her.
But you don’t need to call her to apologize or anything.
But forgive yourself for sleeping with someone else’s husband
Forgive yourself, and move on.
Cut him off completely.
Now that you know there is no future for you both.
Please cut him off.
Stop calling him
Ignore his calls
Block him everywhere.
Then move away
Move far away from him – across the country if you have to.
Because people like him won’t relent.
You guys may have been together for months to years.
So you leaving him feels like he’s lost a toy.
And he would try several ways to get you back.
Maybe he knows your job, place, or where you hang out.
And he would look for you there.
So to get over him, you shouldn’t see him at all.
That’s why moving away would help.
Next, heal after you end your affair with a married man.
And please don’t date for a while.
Instead, deal with the hurt you’ve experienced.
And recover before dating again.
It would be hard.
But try to move on.
Take long walks or run.
You’d remember him.
But don’t dwell on those thoughts.
Be happy you’re out of that relationship.
Keep moving on daily until you no longer feel anything for him.
Lastly, don’t repeat the same mistake of sleeping with another married man.
Now you’ve healed and moved on from your affair with the married guy.
Please don’t repeat the same mistake.
Leave married men alone.
They would still approach and ask you out.
But cut things off once you discover they’re married.
What to do when guys approach you after your affair with the married man
- Are they married?
- Are they engaged?
- Do they have a baby mama?
Ask these questions because you don’t want to make the same mistake of sleeping with a married man again.
You want to be with someone who wants to be with you.
And isn’t connected to anyone.
Because you don’t need any drama in your life.
Also, you don’t want to knowingly partake in some jerk’s choice to hurt their partner.
Conclusion on how to stop sleeping with a married man
So that’s how to end your romance with a married man.
I hope you find it helpful.
Thanks for reading.
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