Why Your Husband Prefers His Friends Over You – What To Do
It is normal to want to be your husband’s priority at all times, but sometimes that’s not the case.
But because you’re not a priority right now doesn’t mean you’ve lost your place in his heart.
And while you may think the worst of the situation, that may not be the case.
You’re not a horrible person.
And no, his friends are not influencing him to stay away from you.
The thing is, even after getting married to that special someone, you still need your friends.
That’s what helps us balance it all.
So we’ll talk about nine reasons your husband prefers his friends over you.
And what you can do to have quality time with him.
Let’s dive in!
9 Reasons Why Your Husband Chooses Friends Over You
Not saying this is all you, but these are possible reasons he prefers to spend time with his friends over you.
1. You don’t give him attention.
After having children, some of us get so occupied with the kids and neglect our husbands.
The kids need care and nurturing, but your husband is equally important.
Because if he begins to feel like a ghost in the house, he will spend more time out with his friends.
Some ways to give him attention are:
- Asking how his day went and listening when he talks.
- Or ask him about a project he’s working on; it shows you remember and is interested in his work.
- You can also tell him about your day.
- Tell him about something that happened at your job, the kids’ school, or just regular gist.
- Talk about stuff and enjoy the time.
- Another thing you can do is start something to look forward to.
- Maybe every evening you can watch your favorite shows over dinner together.
- Or cuddle up with soft small kisses.
Find your thing to spend more time together.
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2. He can be himself with his friends.
Another reason your husband prefers his friends over you is that he can be himself with them.
He doesn’t have to put up any act.
Some of us want to change our husbands.
We want them to do things exactly the way we do.
We forget they have their ways of doing things.
And we chose to love them like that.
But suddenly, we remember his way is not ideal.
And we start imposing our way of doing things on our husbands.
When all he’s doing is just being himself.
Maybe he wants to watch the game and shout, and you feel he’s too noisy.
I can’t remember what exactly, but I used to judge my husband about how he does things.
I constantly corrected him because I had a particular way of doing things.
And we were fighting most of the time because of that.
Thank God for my husband; he told me he didn’t like it when I did that.
I had to take several steps back and think about it.
With time, I got used to his way.
And his method doesn’t look or feel any different from mine.
You know what I mean.
What you can do:
Let the man be himself.
Over time, you won’t notice those things, and you’ll be fine.
3. You choose your friends over him.
Some of us wives put our friends before our husbands.
Nobody is saying you should end your friendships once you’re married.
In fact, it’s important to still maintain friendships after marriage.
But if your husband feels like your friends come before him, over time, his friends become more important to him than you.
What you can do:
It will help if you find a way to balance time with your friends and husband.
You can spend with your friends.
And also, remember to prioritize couples time, so your guy knows he’s important too.
Because if you want him to put you first, you need to prioritize him too.
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4. He needs some quality time with his guys.
It would help a lot if we understood that our husbands need their guy time.
They want to hang out with friends, talk, drink, play video games, or even watch sports.
And that’s okay.
That’s their form of self-care.
What you can do:
While he’s away, use that time to do your own thing.
You can take a nap, a bath, put your feet up, watch a movie, or do whatever you enjoy doing.
And when he’s done hanging out with his guys, he will return home to you.
Everyone has released some stress, and you’re happy to chill together.
5. Your husband chooses friends over you because you are always mad
Are you always angry and constantly snapping at your guy?
If that’s the home atmosphere, he will spend time with his friends most of the time.
Not because he’s avoiding you; he’s giving you time to cool off.
And maybe be in a better mood when he gets back.
What you can do:
I know it’s not easy raising children and also being a wife.
But it would be best to communicate with your husband when you need help.
He’s not a mind-reader.
And just a quick reminder, you don’t have to do everything.
You can leave some things for another day.
Or ask your husband to help instead of trying to do it all.
Lord knows I’ve left dirty dishes in the sink for the next day.
Or even ask my hubby if he’d do them, which he always says yes to.
And sometimes, he makes dinner for the family so I can rest too.
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6. He feels like he doesn’t have a say in the family is why he prefers his friends over you
Because we spend more time at home.
And maybe with the kids(if any), we act like our husbands don’t have a say in how we run things.
Some of us won’t let them be the dad and man of the house.
We act like we alone know what’s best for the kids because we spend more time with them.
We don’t want his input in anything.
So what happens next?
He goes to a place where his voice is heard and appreciated.
What you can do:
Talk to him about stuff you want to do in the home.
Maybe something happened to your kid at school; tell him about it.
He needs to know what’s happening with you and everyone in the house.
Tell him and ask what he thinks of the issue.
And what you two can do about it.
I hope this makes sense.
7. Your husband prefers his friends over you because you say no to intimacy most of the time
We see this every day on social media.
I’m even surprised it’s a thing.
Many moms say they spend the day caring for the home and kids.
So they have no time for intimacy with their husbands.
And if it happens a lot, your husband would rather spend time with the guys or his hand.
Some women even say things like, “Is intimacy food?”.
Umm, yes, it is.
What you can do:
Even if you’re tired and can’t be physically intimate with your man today, make time or create a schedule for intimacy.
And don’t wait for your husband to initiate sex all the time.
When the kids are in bed, freshen up and cozy up with your hubby.
If you have small kids, try to send them to bed early.
So you’d have more time to relax with your hubby in the evenings.
Yes, chores can be overwhelming and such.
But still, we need to find a way to balance it all and be intimate with our hubbies.
And remember, intimacy isn’t always about what happens in the bedroom.
It’s also the hand-holding, small kisses, and just being with the one you love.
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8. He doesn’t like being at home
Like it or not, some men don’t like being at home with their families.
For some reason, there’s always something better to do outside than spend time with their wives.
Such men will always find excuses to be out with their friends.
And some of them are unhappy when they’re home.
Though I never experienced it, I knew of husbands that were happier outside and grumpy when with their families.
What you can do:
If it feels like your husband is happier when he’s away from you, please communicate with him.
Ask him why he’s unhappy at home.
And what you can do to change the situation.
Also, let him know how his actions make you feel.
And that he can talk to you about anything.
Maybe he’s going through stress at work, etc.
It could be anything.
So talk about it, and work together to make things better.
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9. Your husband prioritizes his friends over you because he’s not ready for commitment
Some of us get married even when we’re not ready for commitment.
So after marriage, we continue to act single.
That’s when you see a married person wanting to spend more time with their friends at the expense of a spouse.
They still want to move like they’re single.
I’m not saying your husband shouldn’t spend time with his friends.
In fact, he needs to see his friends.
But once you’re married, your spouse becomes a priority.
What you can do:
Make time to talk about the issue.
Talk about how you prioritize him and expect the same of him.
He needs to see that his actions make you feel less important.
Remember, you may never resolve the issue if you don’t talk about it.
And if that doesn’t help, please seek marriage counseling.
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Conclusion on 9 Reasons Your Husband Chooses His Friends Over You.
So those are nine reasons your husband prefers his friends over you and tips to spend more time with him.
Remember, you’re not a horrible person.
Sometimes we want to spend time away from our partners and hang out with friends.
Please take advantage of the time he’s away and get some self-care.
And if you think something is wrong somewhere, please communicate, and work together to improve things.
I hope you find these tips helpful.
All the best.
If you have any major marital issues, please see a marriage counselor.
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