Why You Shouldn’t Be Ashamed For Marrying For Sex
Okay, this is it.
I’ve seen tweets that shame people for wanting to get married for sex.
And it makes me wonder why anyone would be so upset about other people’s choices.
Yes, sex shouldn’t be the only reason you want to get married.
But it is part of it.
So I read an article where couples answered questions about why they wanted to get married.
And they read their answers out loud for their partners to hear.
And the bride-to-be was shocked her fiance checked sex as one of his reasons for getting married.
This is what happens in society today.
Not only do strangers shame you for wanting good intimacy in your marriage.
Spouses shame each other too.
And sorry to say, it’s mostly women that do it.
I’ve seen too many social media posts of women shaming their husbands for asking for sex.
They say things like, “is it food?”.
And they also shame other women that say they make love to their husbands regularly.
As someone that believes sex is essential in marriage, I think it’s all B.S.
So this post will discuss why you shouldn’t be ashamed for wanting sex in your marriage.
Why You Are Not Having Sex In Your Marriage
There are several reasons for the lack of sex in marriages.
And we’ll talk about them first.
So here’s why you’re not having sex in your marriage:
After having babies, you may become body-conscious.
You feel you’re no longer sexy.
And that your spouse may not find you attractive too, so you avoid sex.
I had body image issues, too, after baby delivery.
But my husband helped me.
He told me I was still beautiful and sexy.
And I also started working out to help my body regain shape.
So if you’re having body image issues, why not discuss it with your spouse?
You’d be surprised at how he’d handle it.
Maybe you need that reassurance that you still have it.
And if that doesn’t work, then maybe seek professional help.
Please read 9 Simple Things To Do To Look Sexy For Your Husband.
Another reason you may say no to sex in your marriage is tiredness, especially when you have kids.
Most moms are busy round the clock and rarely have time to unwind.
So when they finally hit the bed at night, they want to sleep.
And having sex with their husbands may be the last thing on their minds.
But still, I believe if you control the stress during the day, you will have time for sex.
That is, if you want to have sex.
Don’t try to do everything every day.
Leave some chores for another day.
Don’t get caught up in extracurricular activities.
Yes, your life revolves around your kids.
But it doesn’t have to be like that all the time.
Always try to make time to spend with your husband.
Please read 7 Things For Stay-at-home Wives To Do To Reduce Stress.
Low sex drive
Stress, anxiety, and many other things can lead to low sex drive.
If that’s what’s happening to you, please see a professional.
Hormonal changes also affect women’s sex drive.
But my problem is, when women discuss why they’re not having sex in their marriages, they hardly mention low sex drive.
Instead, they shame their husbands for wanting sex.
Why not tell him what you’re going through?
So you can work together to fix the problem, and both parties will be happy.
Hmm! That can be hard for some of us.
Why? Because it is easier to shame others instead of fixing the problem.
Please read How To Get Chemistry Back In Your Relationship – After Having Kids.
You’re not sexually attracted to your partner.
Some women will never admit that they’re not sexually attracted to their partners.
Yes, sex is not the only reason to get married.
But it is part of it.
My thing is, if you don’t like sex like that, don’t marry someone that loves to do it every other day.
It’s as simple as that.
There are people like you out there who are not crazy about sex.
And it’s okay to be with them.
But some of us get married to someone with a high sex drive and reject them when they make sex moves.
I don’t think that’s fair.
That’s why I always say it’s essential to live with your partner before marrying them.
So you’d know your dealbreakers and understand what you’re getting into.
You take the silent treatment too far.
Some women are not having sex in their marriages because they or their partners take the silent treatment too far.
When unforgiveness and resentment set in, physical connection goes out the window.
So let’s not forget that when talking about why you’re not doing it.
Some of us get mad at our spouses and will go days without talking to them.
When you do this often, slowly, you and your partner will drift apart.
Then sex will become sparse to non-existent.
So please tone the silent treatment down.
Or better still, trash out your issues, forgive and move on.
Please read 15 Tips To Communicate With Your Partner Without Fighting.
5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Be Ashamed For Marrying For Sex
Marrying for sex isn’t bad as long as that’s not your only reason.
So here’s why you shouldn’t be ashamed of marrying for sex.
1. You shouldn’t be ashamed of sex in marriage – Everyone is doing it
Everyone is having sex whether they admit it or not.
And what makes anyone think they can tell you what to or not do in your union?
If you and your spouse want to make love every day, it is your marriage.
Please don’t let anyone shame you for wanting to touch and kiss your spouse.
If they don’t like sex in a marriage, they can marry someone just like them.
And if you want lots of sex in your marriage, marry someone like you.
As I write this, and as you read it, many people worldwide are having sex.
Both married and unmarried people.
So what do you say?
2. You prefer to have one dedicated sex partner
Yes, let’s be honest here.
We all frown at and judge people for having multiple sex partners.
But I’m not here to judge people and their sexual preferences.
I’m saying that if you’d rather have only one sex partner, that’s your spouse when you’re married.
Or a partner in a long-term relationship (not married).
So nobody should judge you for wanting to make love to the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with.
3. Why you shouldn’t be ashamed of marrying for sex -You are an adult and can make decisions
Again everyone is having sex, whether we like to admit it or not.
And you’re an adult.
You can make decisions for your life.
Society is not your mommy.
If you want your marriage to be full of passionate lovemaking or just wild sex, it’s your choice.
And please own it because it is your marriage.
If anyone doesn’t like that you make love to your partner, they should take several seats.
4. You have same sex energy as your spouse
There is nothing wrong with being sexually attracted to your partner.
When you and your spouse have the same sex energy, you’ll find it hard to keep your hands off each other.
And it’s normal.
So if you want to do it daily, it’s what you and your beau want.
Stop letting other people measure and tell you how often to get intimate with your spouse.
5. You shouldn’t be ashamed of marrying for sex because it is your marriage
If you’re not sleeping with someone else’s partner, please don’t feel shame for having sex.
Besides, it is your marriage.
And you have every right to say sex is essential in your union.
Funny enough, people that shame you for marrying for sex are busy sleeping with other people’s partners.
Or they deny their partners sex.
And want to guilt trip you because you have sex with yours.
You know misery loves company.
Or they wish they had a marriage like yours filled with love inside and outside the bedroom.
There are many reasons people will judge you for having sex.
So please do what’s best for you and ignore the background noise.
Conclusion on why you shouldn’t be ashamed for wanting a sex-full marriage
There are so many reasons we get married.
My reasons will be different from yours, and that’s okay.
For me, sex was just as important as the other things.
And I won’t let anybody shame me for it.
Sex is meant to be enjoyed by two consenting adults.
People want to take the moral high ground when you say you want sex in your marriage.
I call B.S on that.
So has anyone shamed you for wanting a sex-full marriage?
Please share with us in the comments.
Thanks for reading.
Please share this post. It would mean everything to me.
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