Are you looking to date and can’t find a good man?
Do you think there are no decent men out there?
I used to think like that until I gave a great guy a chance, and he made me his wife.
The thing is, sometimes we get carried away dating the same kinds of people over and over.
And even when we meet a good person, we hardly recognize them because we’re not seeing what’s in front of us.
This post will discuss why you can’t find a good man to date and where to find them.
Let’s get started.
7 Reasons why you can’t find a good man to date
1. Searching the wrong places.
Sometimes we search the wrong places for good men.
Some people say you won’t meet a life partner in a bar.
I call B.S.
People meet their life partners in some of the weirdest places.
So maybe change where you’ve been hanging out to meet guys.
2. Seeking your friends’ approval is why you can’t find a good man.
Another reason you can’t find good guys to date is because you want your friends’ approval.
I understand it’s nice when our friends like our guy.
But what if you meet a great guy, and your friends have no valid reason for disliking him?
Would you let him go to please them?
- What To Do When Your Friends Dislike Your Partner.
- 10 Pieces of Bad Dating Advice Women Give Each Other.
3. Attracting the same kind of men is why you can’t find a good man to date.
Some of us unknowingly attract the same kinds of men that never want to commit.
And until we break that cycle, we’ll never meet a potentially great guy.
4. You can’t find a good man because you’re dating several people.
We’ve heard it before.
People say to date several men and choose the best one.
But it doesn’t always work because you’re distracted.
This means you’d never see them as you would if dating one guy at a time.
Please read 10 Pieces of Bad Dating Advice Women Give Each Other.
5. You can’t find a good man because of your clique.
Believe it or not, the clique mentality is possibly another reason you can’t find good men to date.
I know ladies love to have groups of friends, hang out, etc.
But if you want to meet someone and get to know them, please move solo sometimes.
It shows you are secure and don’t need a group of friends to validate you.
Also, when a guy approaches you, he wants to talk to just you.
He doesn’t need your friends interviewing or sizing him up.
So, in the beginning, please meet him on your own.
Then make a decision that’s not influenced by your clique.
I’m not saying your friends’ advice is rubbish. But sometimes our friends’ “advice” may be out of jealousy.
And please spend lots of time with the guy without your friends.
They’ll meet when it’s time for him to meet your friends.
6. You can’t find a good man because you are not asking men out
If you’re still waiting for men to ask you out, you may never find a good man.
The good guys don’t mind if a lady walks up to them to start a conversation.
Men with low self-esteem will try to make you feel less than for approaching them first.
I just wanted to put that out there.
Other than that, consider asking men out until you find your guy.
Please read Why Women Should Start Asking Guys Out – Pros & Cons.
7. You have put a price tag on who you date
I’m not saying you should date a guy living on the streets without a job.
You may never meet a good person if a guy must earn six figures before you date him.
Yes, you’d get a rich guy.
But how does he treat you?
I’m not saying rich guys are horrible.
But how a guy treats you is the most important thing, and other things come after.
Also, anyone can get rich.
You’ll never know what will happen, and your guy earning regular pay might just land a big job or contract.
You’ll never know.
So try not to judge him based on what he has now.
Instead, work with and support him, and you will grow together.
Now, where do you find good men?
Where are the good men? 7 Places to find decent men
As I said, there are no particular places to find suitable men.
But depending on the type of man you want, you might have to go where they hang out.
So if you need a church-going guy, where do you check?
The church, right?
But for us non-religious folks, you can find suitable men in coffee shops, bars, gyms, your friend zone, nightclubs, etc.
1. Your friend zone
One of the best places to find good guys is your friend zone.
Most of us friend-zone great guys because they’re our friends, and dating them feels odd.
So we turn them into our shock absorbers.
- We tell them about our relationships,
- how bad other guys treat us,
- even seek relationship advice from them, etc.
But we’re utterly blind to the fact that he’s a good person who likes us.
2. Your guy best friend
Your guy best friend is always there when you want to talk or vent.
And he’s the one that does the things your other male friends won’t do for you.
He treats you better than guys you’ve dated.
He’s a good man.
But you tell him, “you’re my best friend,” “you’re like a brother to me.”
He’s your friend, not your brother.
He wants to date you. Say yes or no.
But please stop referring to him as your brother.
I’m sure many ladies have missed good men because they want to make them their brothers instead of a boyfriend.
They’re the ones that get jealous when their guy best friend starts dating.
He’s suddenly appealing to her because another woman finds him attractive.
Many women married men that were their guy best friends.
Though I didn’t have a guy best friend, my husband was a good friend in college.
And after college, we started hanging out.
One thing led to another we started dating.
And we’ve been married for years.
3. Your workplace is a great place to meet great guys
Another place to find good men is where you work.
Many people found their spouses at their jobs.
I understand some workplaces frown on dating your colleagues.
But some companies are okay with colleague dating, provided your relationship isn’t affecting work responsibilities.
I also know of couples that met at their jobs.
And one of them was transferred to another branch when they married.
A transfer may sound annoying, but you married the one you love.
And you’ll see them at home every day.
4. The gym is a decent place to meet good men
I understand some women don’t want to talk when they go to the gym.
Some gym policies even state you shouldn’t talk to people since everything is now tagged as harassment.
But the gym is one of the places to find decent guys.
And if you won’t respond to hellos at the gym, you may never meet a good person.
Some people greet you because they want to be friends, while others are just regular friendly people.
But you’ll never know if you don’t say hello too.
And if the friendship doesn’t work out, you can end it.
5. Your next-door neighbor might be a good guy to date
You know the guy next door that greets you every morning?
The one that helps you with stuff you can’t do yourself.
Yes, that neighbor who doesn’t hesitate to help you.
Do you think he’s helping you because he has nothing to do?
He probably likes you.
And if you like him, why not ask him to have coffee with you and see how it goes?
6. Religious gathering
You’d find good men in religious settings if that’s what you like.
So check your church, mosque, synagogue, school fellowship, etc.
You might find your dream guy there.
7. Parties, pubs, etc. are great places to meet good guys
Some people will disagree, but I believe you can meet good men or women in nightclubs, bars, pubs, parties, restaurants, etc.
Likewise, you can meet horrible people in churches and other religious hangouts.
So it doesn’t matter where you meet someone.
What matters is if the person is good to you.
Bonus point -dating apps and match-making sites are great places to meet suitable men.
While I’m not a fan of dating apps or match-making, I know they work for people.
So maybe consider using them to find good guys if all else fails.
So are there any good guys left out there?
Absolutely, yes. There are lots of good men out there.
People meet good men and start relationships every day. But maybe you can’t find suitable men to date because:
- You’re searching the wrong places.
- Asking for your friends’ approval of who you date.
- Or you move in cliques, and most guys don’t want to deal with that.
- Or you left the good guys in your friend zone.
That means many decent guys are still waiting to meet you.
So check your zones and change how you move to meet your ideal partner.
I wish you all the best.
Thanks for reading.
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