No Man Wants To Date Me! – 19 Hard Truths Why Men Avoid You
Maybe you’ve been on several dates, and it feels like no man wants to date you.
What could be the problem?
Is it something you’re doing?
Or is it the men?
This post will discuss 19 reasons no man wants to date you and what to do about it.
Please read this post with an open mind and understand that I’m not blaming you for people not wanting to date you.
But it would be best if you also took some responsibility for it.
19 reasons why no man wants to date you
1. Your standards are too high
It’s okay to have standards about who you date.
A regular standard can look like this:
I want a good guy who treats me well, has a job and has other plans for his life, etc.
But an unrealistic standard is I want a tall, handsome, wealthy guy who will sweep me off my feet, pay for vacations, and let me live a luxurious life.
Most men are of average height, and they earn the average salary.
And if you’re looking for someone to date, these rich, tall, handsome guys are hardly exclusive to one woman.
Because they have several women thirsting for them.
I’m not saying all rich dudes are philanderers. But most of them are.
But the non-philanderers are very few, and some are already taken by the women who built with them from nothing.
Unless you’re looking to be some married man’s side chick.
Which I’m guessing is not what you’re looking for.
So maybe lower your standards and attract guys who want to date you.
2. You’ve put all men in a box
Another reason no one wants to date you is that you say all men are the same.
You’ve probably said it enough; you now believe it.
So when you meet a guy, you feel you already know his next move.
And before you know it, you’ve ruined a potential relationship before it even started.
Maybe stop generalizing all men, and give someone a chance to show you we’re all different.
It doesn’t mean you still won’t meet some crazy dudes.
You will because that’s the way life is.
But eventually, you might find a good guy.
3. You are afraid of rejection
Everybody faced rejection several times before they met their partners.
So it’s not the end of the world.
I’d go out on a limb to say it’s better to face rejection than someone deceiving and hurting you in the end.
And if a guy rejects you, take it as one of those things and move on.
But make sure you’re putting yourself out there and getting to know people.
And the more you go on dates; you’d begin to see the things you like and some red flags.
And if the date turned out to be crappy, let it go.
Go on crappy dates until you find that person who checks your boxes.
And you know what? Those crappy dates and rejection won’t matter anymore.
4. You don’t put yourself out there
If you want to date, you have to put yourself out there.
No man will find you if you’re always locked in eating and binge-watching your favorite shows.
Once in a while, take yourself out, go to a coffee shop, a frozen yogurt shop, or wherever, and talk to someone.
Yes, you can approach people and start conversations.
Don’t wait for the guys to come to you.
If you want to date, sometimes you need to get out of your comfort zone and start asking men out.
5. You want to please everyone
Trying to please everyone may hinder you from meeting someone to date.
Maybe your friends or family prefer a certain kind of guy for you.
And you like something different but can’t go for it because you’re a people pleaser.
It would be best to put yourself first regarding relationships because you’re the one in it.
So if things work out, fine.
And if it doesn’t work out, you’d learn from it and not make the same mistake again.
But nobody should choose for you because they won’t experience that person with you.
Most people raised eyebrows when I started dating a guy younger than me.
Also, he was doing a master’s program, so he didn’t have money to spoil me, etc.
So they thought they knew what was best for me.
But I didn’t let their opinions affect my decision because I saw beyond their noses.
I stayed with him, and we have been married for years.
Please read I Married A Man 5 Years Younger Than Me – My Thoughts On Marrying A Younger Man.
6. You don’t know what you want
Before going into a relationship, knowing what you want is best.
And when you find those things in a partner, you can move forward.
But if not, you’d keep searching.
So what do you want?
- Do you want a long-term relationship, no marriage?
- Or do you want to get married but don’t want kids?
- Do you want to live together or apart?
- Do you prefer religious people? Don’t expect that a non-religious guy will suddenly become religious for you.
- Or maybe you want someone who wants to travel the world like you.
Don’t ever assume that people want what you want.
And when you’re sure of what you are looking for, talk about it before things get too serious.
A friend met a guy she likes; she moved across the country to be close to him.
Only to find he wants marriage but doesn’t want kids.
So she said well, she wants kids.
Then he changed his mind and said he wanted kids with her.
They are happily married with a son.
It’s best to say what you want; if the other person doesn’t want similar things, you can move on.
7. You are looking in the wrong places
To meet someone to date, you need to look in the right places.
I think there are no particular places to meet men to date.
But I believe it depends on the kind of man you want.
So if you’re religious and want a religious man, you’d go to religious gatherings.
That said, you can meet good men anywhere.
Heck! You can find suitable guys at bars, clubs, coffee shops, and other places people hang out.
Go where the kinds of men you like hang out with, and see how it goes.
8. You’re scared to give anyone a chance
Because of past bad relationships, you may be too scared to give someone else a chance.
And it is okay to be scared.
But letting fear of being hurt again keep you from dating doesn’t help either.
We’ve all been hurt in the past by someone we love and trust.
But it’s time to heal and move on.
Move on at your own pace, but don’t take forever.
Do it if you need to see a therapist to heal from past hurts.
So you can get into a new relationship with an open mind and let things flow naturally.
9. You’re taking astrology readings too seriously
Do you rely on tarot readings to find a partner?
Reading astrology can be fun.
But relying on them to find the right date for you might not be ideal.
Because you might meet a good guy, but your star signs may not match.
So what do you do?
Would you leave a great guy and keep waiting, hoping you’d find one whose star is more compatible with yours?
Or would you overlook all your dealbreakers and only be with him because your stars are compatible?
Please stop putting yourself in a box if you want to find someone to date.
10. You’re looking for sparks and love at first sight
Some of us are looking for sparks and love at first sight.
Oh, he swept me off my feet.
He gives me butterflies in my belly.
Please leave that to teenagers.
Now you’re a grown woman, so it’s best to understand that it takes time to like someone.
Besides, the guys that say sweet words that make you feel mushy inside have practiced over time.
And these guys are usually unserious.
The plan is to get into your panties as quickly as possible.
But regular guys are a bit nervous, just like you, on the first date.
So instead of looking for someone to make you feel mushy, try to meet someone, and get to know them first.
And with time, you begin to like them, and the feelings grow.
Please stop looking for sparks and all that fairytale stuff.
11. Men don’t want to date you because you don’t love yourself
It can be hard to let someone in when you don’t love yourself.
Check yourself and the things that make you dislike yourself and work on them.
It’s not easy to have self-love.
Most of us struggle with self-love. So I understand it might be hard for you.
When I started dating my husband, I was used to dating jerks.
So his treating me well was foreign to me.
But with time and my hair stylist’s advice, I began to appreciate being loved and treated well.
And I started loving myself because my boyfriend (now husband) saw so many things to love about me.
Also, when you don’t love yourself, you’d conclude in your head that the relationship will never work.
Because someone convinced you that luck brings good partners to people, and maybe you’re not lucky.
But with the help of a therapist and time, you will learn to love yourself enough and put yourself out there for love.
12. You don’t like people
Dating is meeting, talking, and spending time with people.
And you’d meet several people before you find one to date you.
So not liking people only reduces your chances of meeting someone to date.
Ask yourself why you don’t like people.
Is it you?
Is it them?
You must understand that people are different and free to exist despite your dislike.
And you’d have to deal with people if you want to date and start a relationship.
13. You’re too dependent and needy
Relationships are better when you start slowly as two whole individuals.
But being too dependent on a guy you just met can be a turn-off.
Some women meet a guy and suddenly can’t go a day without seeing him.
They’d drop their hobbies and depend on the guy for fun.
You must have your own life and not act too needy if you want to date.
Yes, you miss him.
But you won’t die if you don’t see him for a few hours.
Learn to enjoy your own company and enjoy your boyfriend’s company when he’s with you.
But don’t lose yourself.
14. You’re playing hard to get; that’s why men avoid dating you
No one will want to date you if you’re still playing hard to get.
If a guy likes you and you begin playing little games -meanwhile, you want him – he would be put off.
Most serious guys would not let you use them to play your little game.
So they’d move on with their lives.
But some guys will continue chasing you because they enjoy it.
And from what I’ve seen, some of those guys are chasing only to know what you’re about.
And they’d disappear when you finally break the wall to let them in.
So, in my opinion, it’s best to show you like someone, and if they act like jerks, leave them and move on with your life.
The man that appreciates your realness will stay.
15. You talk about your ex all the time
You can’t go on a date and start talking about your ex.
There is time for that.
When you start knowing each other better, talks about your exes might come up.
But bringing up your ex in every conversation may sound like you’re still interested in them.
And it can chase guys away.
16. You compare men to your ex; that’s why no man wants to date you.
Another reason why men don’t want to date you is that you compare them to your ex.
You might not even say it, but you unconsciously look for your ex in them.
And when you can’t find your ex in them, you ruin a potentially good relationship.
Before you start dating again, you must realize that people are different.
Also, you wouldn’t like it if a guy compared you to his ex.
So stop comparing guys to your ex and give yourself a chance to experience someone different.
Please read Does Your Ex Want To Be Friends Or Just Looking For Sex?
17. You move with your girls all the time
Guys don’t like to date women who constantly move in cliques.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have girlfriends.
We all need our girlfriends.
But you don’t need to drag them to your first or subsequent dates.
When a guy wants to date you, he wants to spend time with just you.
Not you and five of your friends sizing him up, whispering stuff to each other, and likely influencing your decision to be with him.
He wants to be sure you can make your own decisions.
When it’s time for your friends to meet him, they will.
But they don’t have to be with you guys all the time.
18. You think good guys are boring
Some of us are so traumatized from dating bad boys that when a man treats us well, we run away.
We think good men are boring. So we mistreat them.
Stop confusing a good man for a guy with low self-esteem.
Good men don’t have to time play around when they meet you.
And if they like you, they’ll show you.
But bad boys always keep you on your toes.
Other women are calling him, making you insecure about your position and whatnot.
You don’t need that drama.
It’s okay to take one day at a time with a good guy and progress from there.
But if you think your fear of good men is a mental health problem, you should seek professional help to deal with and overcome it.
19. The prize mentality
The last reason no man wants to date you is that you act like you’re the prize.
No one person is more special than the other in a relationship.
If you meet a guy and act like you’re doing him a favor talking to him, he will walk away and never look back.
Just as much as he gains from being with you, you also benefit from being with him.
Please drop the prize mentality and find a man who treats you well. And respect each other.
Then you’ll be the prize to each other.
Boom! That’s 19 reasons why no man wants to date you.
Take it easy on yourself, and work on one thing at a time.
Eventually, you’d get better at putting yourself out there to find the right guy for you.
I hope you find this post helpful.
Thanks for reading.
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