11 Reasons Husbands Change After Marriage – 8 Things To Do
So you feel your husband has changed from that great, pleasant guy you married.
And you’re wondering who this new guy is?
And what you can do about his new attitude.
This post will discuss why your husband changed and what to do.
Let’s get started.
Why do husbands change after marriage?
We all change after marriage.
Some of us change for the better, while some are worse.
But here are possible reasons your husband changed after marriage.
1. Reality kicks in
Like women, some men also think the wedding ceremony is the marriage.
Where you both are happy, look perfect, dance, and have fun.
Then after the wedding, you see each other just like you were created.
You argue like every average couple.
And it’s hard for some of us to deal with this reality.
Because some of us think happy couples don’t argue.
And when these arguments happen, we think the marriage is already failing.
Or one partner starts withdrawing.
2. Unrealistic expectations
I saw a YouTube video of a guy saying if his wife gained X amount of weight, he’d threaten to divorce her.
Something like that.
You’d think it’s just content when we hear things like this.
But most of these people are serious.
They’re only attracted to your physical appearance.
And once you no longer fit that perfect picture, they’ll change towards you.
3. Comparisons
Another reason some husbands change after marriage is because they compare their partners to others.
Some of us think we’ll be happier if we have what the next couple has.
But that’s not always the case.
Because every marriage is different.
And what works for one couple might not work for another.
Also, when you focus on other people’s marriages, you lose sight of what’s important in yours.
4. Unresolved marital issues
Most of the time, partners change toward each other because of unresolved marital issues.
Maybe one or both of you avoid difficult conversations.
At some point, you won’t care what your partner does anymore.
As you don’t care enough to say how it makes you feel.
Not to mention wanting to resolve issues.
Which can cause you to change towards each other.
5. Not knowing each other well before marriage
Some of us marry people we don’t know well.
Which can cause issues in your marriage.
Seriously, not understanding your partner is not easy.
But it’s not the worst thing that can happen.
Because if you take the time to understand each other instead of fighting about your differences, your relationship will thrive.
6. Stress
Stress is a common reason some husbands change toward their wives.
Maybe your husband is stressed at work.
Or he thinks he’s not doing enough for the family.
Most men think they’re not doing enough, even if they’ve moved mountains to give their families everything.
It’s in their nature to provide and protect.
Which causes lots of stress to them.
And if not handled well, it can make a husband change toward his partner.
7. He can’t talk to you about his issues
Some women aren’t interested in their men’s issues.
And if your man cannot talk to you about his struggles, he might begin to change.
Because it’s like…
What’s the point of talking to her if she doesn’t care about what he’s going through?
So what does he do?
He withdraws.
And then she’d feel like he’s changed.
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8. Distraction from outside
Some men are easily distracted by other women.
Once another woman shows interest in them, they take the bait.
And begin to invest time and energy into that affair.
Which eventually affects his relationship with his wife.
9. Maybe you changed
It’s possible we changed after marriage, which might affect how our hubby interacts with us.
But we’re so self-absorbed sometimes that we only see how our husbands changed.
And not how we changed.
Maybe you used to be sweet and kind to him.
But these days, you snap at him.
Or you act like his mom instead of his wife.
I saw a YouTube comment where a wife says she doesn’t let her husband go grocery shopping alone because she has to supervise him.
Eish!
What does she mean by “I have to supervise him?”
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10. Lack of intimacy
Lack of intimacy is another reason husbands change after marriage.
Maybe you had regular intimacy when you were dating.
And your husband thought your sex drive matched.
But after marriage, you started saying no to intimacy.
And when you say yes, you give him pity sex.
Or maybe you guys don’t even hug or hold hands.
You know sex is not the only way to be intimate with your partner.
But connecting with handholding, kisses, and hugs is also part of intimacy.
And when you always say no to intimacy in your relationship, your man might change towards you.
Because he feels unloved and unwanted.
11. He’s always been on and off.
Some of us meet men that have several women.
Still, we stay and become wives, thinking we’re the golden person that will change him.
That kind of husband didn’t change after marriage.
He only continued being who you he was before you married him.
Please read 17 Types Of Men To Avoid Dating If You Want Real Love.
What to do when you feel your husband is changing
1. Talk about it
The first thing to do when you feel your husband is changing is to talk about it.
Ask him what’s going on.
Please don’t attack him.
You can say, “sweetie, are you okay?”.
Maybe ask him about work or something important he’s working on.
That can start a conversation.
Then hopefully, you’ll know why he’s acting differently.
And if he’s not ready to talk, give him some time and bring it up again later.
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2. Take one day at a time.
It’s hard when your spouse changes, and you feel helpless.
But take one day at a time.
Maybe he’s going through stuff and will come around soon.
And when he does, you discuss what’s bugging him.
So you’d know if it’s you or work-related stress.
Then plan to work it out.
3. Make time for each other.
Sometimes we ignore our husbands, especially when we become parents.
If you feel your husband is changing because you don’t spend time with him, you must start making time for him.
One of the ways I do that is to get the kids to ask daddy to do stuff for them too.
Not every time, “mommy!!”
And we have a routine for the kids.
If not, things will go haywire.
And once the kids are taken care of, we spend time together.
It must be a joint effort.
Please try to do it all alone.
Create and follow a routine for your kids.
And involve your guy, so you can work together and relax too.
And have time for each other.
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4. Change the way you talk to him
Some of us don’t respect our partners.
We talk to them like they’re beneath us.
If you’ve been doing that, please change how you talk to your man.
Watch your words and tone of voice when you talk to him.
And if you’re about to say something hurtful, please stop talking.
5. Quit discussing him with people
Also, if you’re always discussing him with friends and family, please end that.
Some things are better kept between you and your man.
And when you stop discussing your hubby with other people, they will respect him more.
So keep your intimate affairs, arguments, and plans between you and your husband.
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6. Learn to say, “I’m sorry.”
Also, please apologize when you hurt your husband.
Quit trying to win the argument all the time.
Remember, you’re a team.
Also, saying “I apologize” isn’t a genuine apology.
Instead, say, “I’m sorry.”
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7. Give him space
We all need some alone time to reflect and deal with our issues.
If you notice your husband is changing, give him time and space.
Maybe he needs time to deal with his demons.
Sometimes when my husband is stressed and doesn’t want to talk, I give him space.
As long as I know it’s not me. Lol.
And when he’s ready to talk, he tells me what’s happening.
And we talk about it.
8. Get marriage counseling
If you’ve tried everything and can’t figure out why your husband is changing, counseling might help.
So discuss with him about seeing a marriage counselor.
FAQs about husbands changing after marriage
Do husbands change after marriage?
Some husbands change for the better, and some, not so much.
And some husbands remain the same kind soul their wives married.
Also, we (wives & husbands) influence how our partners act in relationships.
Why do some men change after getting married?
Some men are not ready for commitment but get married anyway.
So they find it hard to take on the role of a husband.
Some fail to understand that you can’t party every weekend after marriage, especially if your partner isn’t a party type.
Or maybe they have this picture of the ideal wife.
Some men don’t see their wives the same after she’s given birth to kids.
Also, marital issues, no intimacy, etc., make couples change toward each other.
It could be anything.
Does your partner change after marriage?
We all change after marriage.
But how your partner changes depend on them.
Some partners become even more affectionate after marriage.
They value their union and work to strengthen it.
While some people don’t put any effort into their relationship.
And they blame each other.
Instead of resolving issues and choosing to make their marriage work.
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Why do men stop loving after marriage?
Men don’t stop loving after marriage.
Some people (both and women) stop loving after marriage.
Loving someone is a choice.
And not loving them is also a choice you make.
When someone says, “I don’t love him or her anymore.”
It’s because they chose to stop loving that person.
That’s why when you don’t love someone anymore, you focus on the things you don’t like about them.
Unlike when you loved them, you could overlook their flaws.
So loving your partner is a choice you make every day until you choose otherwise.
Why do people break up after marriage?
People break up after marriage for so many reasons.
Maybe they discovered their partner wasn’t who they thought they were.
Or maybe we saw the red flags but married the person.
And we thought we could change them.
Also, it’s possible we didn’t know who we married.
Or sometimes, one partner feels they can do better and start an affair.
They are so many reasons.
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Are happily married couples really happy or just pretending?
I’ve even heard people say that happily married couples are pretending.
They’ve convinced themselves that all married couples are unhappy.
But it’s not true.
Many married couples are genuinely happy.
But we ignore those stories because it lacks drama.
And people love drama.
So a marriage without drama, to them, is people suffering in silence.
Well, I’ll tell you again.
There are many happily married couples out there.
And some are close friends of mine.
Also, try not only to focus on the marriages that break.
Also, consider the happy ones.
Let’s wrap it up! Why do husbands change after marriage?
Husbands and wives change after marriage.
It’s not a one-sided thing.
Also, not all husbands or wives change for the worst after marriage.
Some become better lovers and have a great marriage.
That’s my two cents on this matter.
Thanks for reading.
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