Why doesn’t he want to be friends is the question you might ask yourself after your relationship ends.
But unfortunately, some men don’t like to stay friends after a breakup.
It can hurt a lot.
But you also need to understand that people are different.
And the way we deal with exes post-breakup differs.
This post will discuss why he doesn’t want to be friends after a breakup, what to do, and how to move on.
Let’s dive in.
Why he doesn’t want to be friends after breaking up – 9 Reasons
Most guys I’ve dated tried to remain friends after a breakup.
And I’ve always refused.
Also, I’ve never suggested staying friends during or after a breakup.
For me, once the relationship is over, that’s it.
We might see in the future and say hello.
But we can’t be friends on social media or even text or call in real life.
And some guys are like that too.
Once they break up with you, they cut all ties.
And here are possible reasons he doesn’t want to be friends after breaking up:
1. The kind of relationship you had
What kind of relationship did you have?
Sometimes in relationships, one partner can be manipulative.
They always know what to do to get their way.
Or maybe they gaslight you to win arguments.
Some might even be abusive in many ways, like name-calling, belittling, etc.
And if you date and break up with such a person, you’d not want to stay friends.
2. The reason you broke up might be why he doesn’t want to be friends
Some guys would love to stay friends, depending on why you broke up.
Maybe one of you had to move, and the other person couldn’t go.
So you broke up amicably.
In this scenario, you can be friends and date other people.
But if you had a bad breakup, you wouldn’t want to be friends with your ex.
So why did you break up?
Your answer to the above question should help you understand why he doesn’t want to be friends after your break up.
I had an ex that belittled me in many ways.
And when I dared to break up with him, I wanted nothing to do with him.
So your ex might not want to be friends, depending on why you broke up.
3. He doesn’t like the idea of friends with exes.
Like me, maybe your ex doesn’t like the idea of staying friends with an ex-partner.
He might think it’s unhealthy to be friends with someone you were and enjoyed being sexually involved with.
Because given a chance, you’d get back into bed with them.
So to avoid that, he’d rather not stay friends.
Some say it’s immature to refuse friendship with an ex.
But I believe cutting ties with an ex is healthy for you and your future relationship.
4. His new partner isn’t comfortable with your friendship
Another possible reason your ex doesn’t want to be friends after breaking up is that his partner is uncomfortable with your company.
Sometimes friendships with exes cross boundaries and ruin relationships.
And because he cherishes his new relationship and partner, he would rather not be friends.
5. He’s still mad about the breakup.
If your ex is still upset about the breakup, he wouldn’t want to stay friends.
Some of us take time to get over the hurt from a breakup.
6. He still loves you
Your ex might not want to be friends because he still has feelings for you.
So if you’re not dating, then there’s no friendship.
It might sound unreasonable.
But if someone had a great romantic relationship with you, it’s not easy to stop loving you and be platonic.
7. He doesn’t want to lead you on.
Being friends with an ex can give them the impression that you’re leading them on.
Especially if you still have feelings for each other.
Also, some exes that become friends act like they’re dating.
Except that they’re not.
And at some point, one person begins to feel being taken advantage of.
So your ex-guy might not want to lead you on is why he doesn’t want to have friends post-breakup.
8. He doesn’t want to know about your new romantic life
Watching someone you love loving someone else is one of the hardest things to do.
You’d face this torture regularly when you maintain friendships with this person.
That’s why some guys would rather not be friends after breaking up.
It’s not like they don’t wish you well.
They’re not just ready to hear, see or discuss your new love life.
9. He doesn’t want to get back together.
Sometimes friendship after breaking up helps you reconcile and reignite your love.
But also, some people don’t want to get back together after a breakup.
And cutting off an ex-lover makes it easier not to get back together.
So your ex-boyfriend may want to move on and find new love.
What to do when your ex-boyfriend doesn’t want to be friends after you break up
So what can you do when he doesn’t want to be friends after a breakup?
Leave him alone
When an ex-boyfriend doesn’t want to be friends, the best thing to do is to leave him alone.
Maybe he needs time to process all that’s happened.
And also heal from the breakup before considering being friends.
Understand he has a choice.
Also, we can choose who we want to be friends with.
And if your ex doesn’t want to be friends, you must respect his wishes.
Please don’t force it.
Forcing your ex to be friends with you will only push them even far.
And also end up hurting yourself.
Because nobody likes or enjoys rejection.
So again, leave them alone, and don’t force the friendship.
Stop calling to check on him.
If he doesn’t want to talk to you, it’s his choice.
Heal and move on.
After a breakup, instead of looking to stay friends with an ex, it’s best to focus on your healing.
Take time to reflect on your relationship.
Focus on yourself, heal, and move on.
What to do after you break up
Take some time to heal
Breakups are hard.
So it’s essential to take some time to deal with a breakup.
Also, stay off dating for a while.
Spend time alone or with friends and family to manage the hurt.
Think about the relationship.
Reflect on the relationship, and see where things went wrong.
Own your part in the relationship’s failure, and learn from it.
So you don’t make the same mistake in the future.
Focus on self-growth.
Use this time to work and do things for yourself.
Focus on your hobbies or pick up new ones.
Or learn a new skill.
Just do things that improve your self-esteem.
Because breakups sometimes make us feel like we’re not good enough.
So focusing on self-growth can help you feel good and learn to love yourself again.
Remember, you deserve good love.
Sometimes breakups make us feel like we don’t deserve love.
Or that love is for a select group of people.
It’s important to know that you deserve love.
And there’s someone out there that will bring it to your life one day.
So stay positive and open your heart when you’re ready to love again.
Should you ask for closure after a breakup?
I’ve never asked for closure after a breakup.
Everything that happened that led to the breakup is closure for me.
I think and reflect on the relationship.
I also accept my part in why things happened the way they did.
And I try to heal and move on.
But if you prefer to ask your ex-boyfriend for closure, you can try.
However, you must know that your ex might refuse to discuss a relationship that’s ended.
Also, closure helps some people move on faster.
But for some, it opens old wounds and leads to more hurt.
Conclusion on why he doesn’t want to be friends after breaking up
Finally, it’s vital to understand that some people don’t like being friends with their exes.
It’s just who they are.
So if your ex doesn’t want to be friends after a breakup, it’s his choice.
It would hurt, but you need to let it go.
Focus on your healing, and do things that make you happy.
Also, you don’t have to be friends with your ex to be happy.
Also, you can’t force them to be friends if they don’t want to.
So what’s the point?
Sometimes the healthiest thing to do is to let them go.
So you can grow and open your heart to new love in the future.
That’s my two cents on the topic.
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