Moving in together is a significant and exciting step in most relationships.
But some couples move in together for the wrong reasons.
And end up ruining their relationships.
So this post will discuss signs you’re not ready to move in together.
And what to do before you move in with your boyfriend.
15 Signs you’re not ready to move in with your boyfriend.
1. It is a cheaper option
Please don’t move in with a guy because you want to save money.
That’s what a roommate is for.
If you can’t afford your rent, please get a roommate.
Because if you move in with a guy because it’s cheaper, you might be stuck if the relationship isn’t working.
Also, if the guy isn’t a good person, he might take advantage of the fact that you’re staying with him to save money and mistreat you.
So if you’re trying to save money, moving in with your boyfriend when you’re not ready is not the best way.
2. You just started dating.
Another sign you’re not ready to move in together is if you just started dating.
The early phase of your relationship is when you enjoy the sparks, go on dates, and get to know each other.
I’m not sure of a particular time frame when it’s okay to move in together.
But at least watch and see where the relationship is headed.
Are you guys serious about each other?
Are you exclusive to each other?
Take your time.
Don’t be in a hurry to move in together when your relationship is still relatively new.
3. You still try to be perfect every time you see each other
If you’re not yet comfortable with your guy when you’re not all dolled up, then you’re not ready to move in together.
I’m not saying you don’t take care of yourself.
But have you seen each other when you’re not in the best clothes, hair, makeup, etc.?
Because it would be awkward waking up early to look perfect for your partner.
Unless you’re Mrs. Maisel.
Anyway, they’d see you undone when you live with a partner.
Whether you drool on your face when you sleep, your morning breath, etc.
Are you ready to show your partner all that?
If not, you’re not ready to move in with your guy yet.
4. You’re not ready to discuss money
Some of us don’t like discussing money with our partners.
And if you’re not ready you discuss money with your guy, then don’t move in yet.
Because when you live together, money talks will come up.
You’ll discuss how to pay your rent, utility bills, grocery shopping, etc.
Also, some of us aren’t ready to spend money on our partners.
You can’t expect your partner to pay for everything while you lounge away.
And because there’s more than one person in the house, it’s only normal for bills to go up.
So are you ready to support your partner with money to pay bills?
If not, you’re not ready to move in together.
5. You’re not open to doing chores
Most happy couples do chores together.
One person doesn’t sit and let the other do all the cleaning, cooking, etc.
They work together to make the house function properly.
So expect that when you live with your partner, you’d be required to clean, do laundry, cook, etc., together.
And if you think sharing chores is too much for you, please don’t move in together.
6. You haven’t met his friends and family
A partner taking you seriously would introduce you to their friends and family.
But if you haven’t met them yet, something is fishy.
And it doesn’t matter if your partner’s friends and family like you.
If they are serious about you, they’ll take you to meet the people they love and respect.
So if you haven’t met your partner’s friends and family, maybe hold off on moving in together.
Please read 13 Genuine Signs He Wants To Spend His Life With You.
7. You haven’t stayed together prior
Before you decide to move in with your partner, you must stay together.
Spend nights or a few days together.
You can even travel together if you like.
Even if it’s just a few days, you’d see how your partner is in the mornings or nights.
You’d see how they clean up after themselves.
Also, you guys would see each other unedited.
Before my husband(then boyfriend) and I moved in together, we stayed together a lot.
So we saw each other early in the mornings looking weird with bedhead etc.
He thought I looked great in the morning. *wink*
And I enjoyed his husky morning voice. Lol.
8. You have trust issues
If your reason for moving in is to keep tabs on your partner, please don’t.
You’d drive yourself and your partner crazy.
Trust is one of the most critical ingredients for a successful relationship.
So if trust is lacking in your relationship, it will most likely fail.
Besides, why are you still with them if your partner is giving you reasons not to trust them?
And if he doesn’t give you any reasons to mistrust him, and you still don’t trust him, then maybe you should deal with that before moving in.
9. You’re in a hurry to live together
When you start a relationship, you like each other.
Everything seems right.
You miss each other and can’t wait to live together.
Please slow down, girl.
I know you miss your guy.
But don’t be hasty about moving in together.
There must be some commitment before you move in with a partner.
It shouldn’t be an impulsive decision.
10. You have no plans should the relationship fail
I wouldn’t say I like the idea that you’re starting a relationship with plans if it fails because we want relationships to work.
But sometimes, we have to talk about exit plans, especially when you’re not married to this person.
You know it’s different when you’re married.
So if you’re dating and living together, you must have plans for yourself should the relationship fail.
That’s why I said don’t move in with a guy if your plan is to save money.
You don’t want to be stranded if the relationship ends.
Also, think about who takes what part of the belongings.
Who takes the furniture, pet, and whatever you guys have bought together?
Think about it.
11. You’re not on the same page about the future
Before you move in with your guy, you must be sure you’re on the same page about the future.
My husband made it clear he wanted to marry me, and I him.
So we knew we wanted the same things (marriage and two kids).
So do you want to marry this guy?
Does he want to marry you?
Or do you guys want a long-term relationship, no marriage?
Have you guys talked about it?
Do you want children?
If you haven’t talked about any of these, it’s a sign you’re not ready to move in together.
Also, if you’ve talked and aren’t on the same page, maybe you shouldn’t live together.
12. You fight all the time
All couples argue.
But happy couples argue, make up, and find ways to reduce arguments.
In essence, they communicate better.
But you shouldn’t move in if you argue or fight more often than not.
You need to work on communication and resolution.
Or else you have no business living together.
13. He pressured you to
When a guy wants you to move in with him, he would ask you.
And he would also be okay with you saying you’re not ready.
But if he’s pressuring you to move in with him, please don’t.
Why is he in a hurry?
Especially when you’re not ready.
Some guys like the idea of a woman doing wifely stuff for them when they’re not ready to do husband duties.
So no matter how much he pressures you to live with him, don’t budge.
And even if you prefer a long-term relationship, not marriage, only move in when you’re ready and comfortable.
Because you must be sure it is what you want.
14. It’s closer to your job.
I understand it’s crucial to live close to your job.
But that doesn’t mean you’d move in with someone without any commitment.
Before you started dating, you were okay commuting the distance.
Yes, it would be nice if your commute was shorter.
But it might not be the best idea if that’s your reason for staying with a guy without commitment.
Again, sometimes people take advantage of our situation.
Some people will make you put up with their B.S. because they feel you’re gaining something living with them.
So if commuting is your reason, again, find a roommate and move closer to your job.
15. Your world revolves around him.
It’s cute when you hear someone say their world revolves around you.
But please don’t make it your reality.
It’s okay to want to be close or live with your partner.
But if it’s because you can’t stay a day without seeing or being with them, it’s not a good idea.
You must be able to exist for a day or a few days without seeing your partner.
If you become too needy for your partner’s attention, it will quickly ruin your relationship.
And if you move in together, do you expect your partner not to go to work?
Or will you spend the day waiting for them to come so you can feel whole again?
That’s unhealthy for you and your relationship.
So if you have attachment issues, you’re not ready to move in together.
What to do before moving in with your boyfriend
So we’ve discussed signs you’re not ready to move in together.
Now let’s talk about what to do before you move in with your guy:
1. Please discuss it
Before you move in with your man, talk about it.
Don’t move in stylishly.
Some guys don’t want you to move in, but they can’t say it.
That’s why they frown when they see your stuff around the house.
So make sure it is what you both want.
In short, let him ask you.
Don’t initiate the moving-in-together talk.
2. Take your time
And even if he’s asked you to move in with him, take your time.
Look at me not taking my own advice. Lol.
The day my husband moved into a new apartment, he asked me to stay.
And I did.
But we knew where our relationship was headed.
He had asked me to marry him by mouth. But the ring came after we started living together.
Anyway, take your time.
And make sure you’re ready to move in together.
3. Stay together a lot
Before you move in with your man, ensure you’ve stayed together.
Spend days together on and off at each other’s place.
Not just a night or two in a week.
4. Make sure you want the same things
Some of us don’t like talking about the future.
Please talk about it and be sure you want the same things.
Do you want marriage or a long-term relationship?
Do you want to buy a house or travel the world?
It’s best to discuss these things so you’d know if you want to move forward, make compromises, and whatnot.
5. Be okay with doing chores
Most couples have issues because one partner refuses to partake in house chores.
So make sure you’re on the same page as per chores.
My husband does laundry, grocery shopping, and some cleaning.
I cook, clean, and do other things to keep the house in order.
So make sure you and your man are okay with doing chores before you move in together.
6. Talk about money.
Talk about your debts.
How much debt are you in?
What part of the finances are you willing to handle from your earnings?
When I moved in with my husband, we agreed that I’d buy groceries, and he would pay utility bills.
But where I’m from, we don’t have student loan debt, so there wasn’t any debt hanging above our heads.
Anyway, make sure to discuss money before moving in together.
Things you must not do when living together unmarried
Don’t buy properties together
Please don’t buy properties with someone you’re not married to, no matter what.
Yes, some unmarried couples buy houses together and never break up.
More grace to them.
But also remember the couples that bought properties together and split up.
Besides, whose name is on the mortgage?
Who takes the house after the breakup?
Think about it.
Don’t have a joint bank account.
Another thing you shouldn’t do is open a bank account with someone you’re not married to.
You can support each other financially, but please don’t save money in one account.
It’s different when you’re married and have an account for your kid’s college fund.
But don’t open a joint account with someone you’re not legally committed to.
Is your marriage guaranteed to be happy because you lived together?
It’s best to know your partner to an extent before tying the knot.
Because once you’re married, it’s harder to break up.
But if you dislike moving in, you can do partial moving in.
Spend days at each other’s homes.
Please get to know them when they’re not putting forward their best selves.
See them in their true and unedited self.
It’s not about toothpaste tubes and toilet seats like some people want to minimize it to be.
You’re living with your partner to see their true character when no one is watching.
It’s not the facade we put up every day we go out.
It is who we are behind the doors.
Does your partner help make dinner?
Does your partner think your place is the kitchen?
Do they communicate with you?
How does he treat you when you’re not in that fancy restaurant where you must act properly?
That’s what you’d know when you live with someone.
And you won’t know it from seeing each other a few hours weekly.
Conclusion on signs you’re not ready to move in together
Boom! 15 signs you’re not ready to move in with your boyfriend.
I hope you find them helpful.
Thanks for reading
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