Before marriage, it is essential to ask questions.
And today’s post will cover questions to ask yourself before marriage.
It would help if you asked these questions because you don’t want any surprises.
You don’t want to start noticing things you never knew or saw before. Especially stuff you cannot stand, for the life of you.
And this can cause lots of friction in a young marriage.
So to reduce the chances of it happening, you need to ask questions.
Keep reading for 17 serious questions to ask yourself before marriage.
17 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage
These questions will tell you if you are on the same page and know what’s important in your marriage.
1. Are you attracted to your partner?
Why are you getting together if you’re not attracted to them?
While attraction is not the most important, it does matter.
Marrying someone you’re not attracted to is mean and foolish.
Why waste your and someone else’s time because marriage looks good on paper?
You must be attracted to your partner.
It’s important to your relationship.
2. Are you comfortable with their hygiene practices?
Are you satisfied with their hygiene practices?
Do they like to take showers?
If you like to bathe twice a day, are you comfortable with them taking a shower once a day?
If you lived together before marriage, you’d notice these things.
But if you didn’t stay together, it would make sense to ask them.
Because you can’t start complaining now about something you knew before.
Or you had an opportunity to ask but didn’t.
3. Can you live with their relationship with alcohol or cigarette?
Another question to consider asking before marriage is if you’re okay with your partner’s drinking or smoking habits – if you don’t do these things.
Can you stand the taste of alcohol or cigarette in their mouths?
Would you be okay living in a house where these things are?
4. How involved are friends and family in your relationship?
Like it or not, friends and family can hurt your marriage if you let them.
Some questions you must ask yourself before marriage are:
- how much influence will your family and friends have in your lives?
- And how your partner protects you from them.
From the moment they introduce you to their family, you’d know if you’re welcome or not.
But how will your partner protect you?
Are they easily swayed by their friends or family?
Can you live with someone that says: “maybe if you changed, my family and friends would like you better”? – Instead of protecting you from their fangs and claws.
You may also enjoy Why Your Husband Prefers His Friends Over You – What To Do.
5. Will your partner change?
What’s the thing your partner does that you’ve always known but stayed quiet?
Do they jump into every available bed?
Or do they spend lots of money shopping without thinking?
Do you think that will change after marriage?
You must ask yourself if you’re willing to deal with that when you finally marry them.
6. Does your partner like to share house chores?
Again, if you’ve lived together, you’ll know if your partner is okay with sharing house chores.
But if not, you can talk about it and know their stance on doing chores.
If they’re the kind that won’t lift a pin – are you ready to live with that?
Because you’d be overwhelmed with cleaning, laundry, cooking, whatever.
Unless you’re both willing to hire soemone to do house chores.
7. Are you comfortable with your partner’s closeness to other people?
If your partner has lots of friends of the opposite sex, are you okay with that?
Some people end such friendships once they get close to someone they want to marry.
But then again, some will keep the friendship. They’d even have lunch, dinner, whatever in the name of friendship.
Are you comfortable with your spouse having such closeness with friends of the opposite sex?
Ask these questions before marriage.
8. How do you handle conflict?
Another vital question to ask yourself before marriage is how you deal with conflict.
Are you the type that’s willing to talk and trash things out while your partner likes to take a break and talk later?
Or maybe your partner would rather not talk at all but hold a grudge?
It will be a long night if they can’t talk about the fight and find ways to make it work.
9. Do you enjoy intimacy with your partner?
Before you marry someone, you must be sure that you enjoy intimacy with them.
So be honest with yourself when asking and answering this question.
And if you don’t enjoy intimacy with them, are you open to showing them?
That can help a lot.
10. Will religion be a problem?
Before you get into marriage with someone, ask what religion you guys practice.
Are you the type that wants to take your partner – who’s not Christian – to see your pastor before you marry them?
Also, ask if practicing your religion will be a problem for them, and vice-versa.
You don’t want your spouse dragging you to church or judging you because you won’t practice their religion.
And if they’re not imposing their religion on you, then maybe don’t impose yours on them.
Can you stay married to them and respect their religion?
Think about it.
I’ve seen lots of couples who practice separate religions and still have happy marriages.
11. Do you want children?
An important question most people fail to ask before marriage is “do you want children?”
While you are dating, these are questions to ask.
If you don’t want children, you have no business marrying someone who does.
And if you do want kids, how many?
Before I met my husband, I knew I wanted two kids. And when we started dating, he told me he also wanted two.
We both wanted a girl first and a boy after, and Biology was on our side.
And after my son was born, we closed shop.
12. Do you like the quiet life or weekly partying?
Before marriage, you must ask yourself if you like a quiet life or want to party every weekend.
Suppose your partner prefers a quiet life after marriage; would you be happy living that way?
I used to enjoy late-night clubbing, but my husband is more of an indoors – party once in a while – type of guy.
And I’m fine living like that.
It doesn’t mean I don’t miss dressing up and partying all night.
But I’ve done it a lot, and I can adjust to not doing it as much as I used to.
13. How do you manage your family’s dislike of your partner and vice-versa?
Your future inlaws are always a force to reckon with most of the time.
And in rare cases, they’d love you, and everything flows.
But let’s say they dislike you. How does your partner deal with this?
Do they tell you it’s your fault they don’t like you?
Or your partner reassures you that their love for you trumps any shade the family throws at you.
Do they make you feel protected from all that drama?
You don’t want to feel alone when your partner’s family keeps finding faults with you.
14. Is physical appearance very important to you?
More question to ask before marriage is how you manage your physical appearance.
Is your partner a gym rat or a couch potato?
Would you be okay if your partner stays fit and you don’t work out?
How do they see or look at you when you’re undone?
Are they grossed out when you’re sick, or do they look past your puking and care for you?
And can you do the same for them?
15. Where do you like to live?
Before marriage, ask yourself if you’d love to live in the city or country.
What kind of house would you like to live in?
Do you prefer a townhouse or a detached house?
Who will mow the lawn if you decide to live in a stand-alone house with a yard?
It might sound irrelevant, but it’s a thing.
16. Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person?
Spending the rest of your life with someone means making it work through thick and thin.
Do you see yourself trying to make your marriage work?
Are you ready to overlook their shortcomings and focus on what’s important?
17. Can you still be yourself with your partner
Last but not least question to ask before marriage is, can I be myself with this person?
Do they want to change you?
Does your partner make you feel like you can’t do anything right?
Some lady said her boyfriend said she was washing the dishes wrong.
How do you wash dishes wrong? I have no idea.
Trust me; there are people like that.
So know what you can and cannot take.
Conclusion on questions to ask yourself before marriage
So that’s 17 questions to ask yourself before tying the knot.
After marrying someone, the last thing you want is to see or hear things you never saw or heard before.
These things may come up in your regular discussions before marriage. But if they don’t, please try to talk about them.
Don’t feel like asking serious questions before marriage makes you look desperate.
It just makes you aware of what you’re getting into.
I hope you find this post helpful.
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Thanks for reading.