Did your friendships change after you got married?
Or you thought everything was okay, but your friends believe you have changed since you tied the knot?
A couple of my single friends said I changed after marriage, even if I think I didn’t.
And after looking at my life as a married person with a kid, I realized they were right.
I had a baby before we were officially married.
So you can imagine how my life changed from a single person dating into a married woman with a kid.
And all of this comes with responsibilities.
But most of my friends married about the same period as me, so everything worked out.
Now, if you’ve been losing friends since you got married, don’t worry.
There is a solution.
In this post, we’ll cover why friendships change after marriage and tips for maintaining friendships after marriage.
Why do friendships change after marriage?
It is only normal for things to change after marriage because you are no longer that single person that makes solo decisions.
So seeing your friends may not be as simple as it used to be.
Keep reading for more reasons why friendships change after marriage.
Your spouse becomes a top priority.
Once you’re married, your spouse becomes a top priority above anyone and anything else.
And you have to work with them on most things, including spending time with your friends.
You can’t jump into your clothes and meet friends for brunch as you used to, making friendships fall apart.
Your friends changed
Another reason you lose friends after marriage is that they change toward you.
Most times, people blame the married person for the failed friendship.
But sometimes, single friends change towards married ones.
Hold your horses; let me land.
Your friends may feel like you’re no longer in the same league if you’re married and they’re not.
The married people league.
And they suddenly think you can’t gist the way you guys used to.
Then they start avoiding you or stop asking you to hang out.
Yes, it happened to me.
Again, if you bring up your spouse in every conversation, your friends may not invite you out.
Since they’re not married, they may not have anything to contribute to the conversation.
So they’d rather be with other single friends who talk like them.
But you can fix it.
Tips for maintaining friendships after marriage
So the reason why your friendships changed after marriage are:
- Your partner now comes first
- Maybe your friends changed
- You only talk about your spouse, so your friends have left you alone.
Now let’s talk about how to preserve your friendships because friends are essential to our lives.
1. Stay in touch
Send a text once in a while to check on your friends.
It shows you still think and care about them.
And maybe you can all have a conference call and catch up on your lives.
A couple of my married friends and I do that. We all live far from each other.
They live in the same country but in different states, while I’m far away in the US.
But we talk on a video call once in a while, and it’s lovely.
And we may not talk for another 1 or 2 months.
So try that once in a while with your girls.
You guys will see each other, laugh, and gist like you’re together.
Then do it again next time.
2. Work with your partner to maintain friendships after marriage
Another way of maintaining your friendships is to work with your partner.
Maybe you guys can invite your friends and hang out together.
But if your partner and friends don’t gel, plan to see friends alone.
Another way to get more time with your friends is to visit them or FaceTime when your spouse is out with his friends.
You can also invite or visit them when your partner is out of town.
3. Invest in your friendships
Investing in your friendships is another great tip for maintaining friendships after marriage.
And this means remembering days and things that are important to your friends.
My husband has a close friend.
They don’t talk every month.
But John always calls this friend on his birthday.
And they’d gist for close to an hour with a big voice.
I’m sometimes jealous of the way he remembers Philip’s birthday.
But that’s how they invest in their friendship.
So even if you can’t be there to celebrate your friends’ big wins and special dates, make sure to reach out on that day.
Hearing from you will give them that “screaming on the phone and jumping up for joy” thing girls do.
I love it!
4. Showing interest in your friends’ lives is a way to preserve your friendships
To maintain friendships after marriage, you must show interest in your friends’ lives.
So ask what’s going on in their jobs, personal lives, and all that stuff you girls talk about.
Are they working for a promotion?
Ask how it’s going, and wish them all the best.
Or maybe they’re making other big plans.
Talk to them.
And let them know you’re available if they need to talk.
Or if they want to vent.
You’re there to listen.
And while you’re at it, let your friends know what’s happening in your life too.
Don’t be the friend who hears everyone’s stories but never talks about theirs.
5. To maintain your friendships, don’t make it about you
Like I said earlier, if you always talk about your partner, your friends may not be interested in hanging out with your anymore.
So to maintain your friendships, talk about the regular stuff.
Don’t make every conversation about you, your spouse, or your kids.
Still talk about common interests you and your friends share, and let the chat flow.
How I talk to my single and married friends is no different.
You’re still you.
You didn’t change overnight after you said, “I do.”
So let that person your friends know and love shine through, and enjoy your friendships.
6. Make new friends.
Easier said than done, right?
I love making new friends.
But I only see people who act like you’re forcing them to be friends.
So the closest people I have to friends – within my vicinity – are my husband’s friends.
And I can work with that and see how it goes.
Maybe you find it hard to meet new friends.
But you can get close to your spouse’s friends.
It may seem awkward at first.
But who knows what will happen with time?
7. Let it go
Friendships are important to our lives and health.
But some friendships can also be detrimental to your well-being.
So if the friendship looks like it’s not working no matter what you do, please let it go.
Especially when your friends think they come before your spouse.
I don’t talk to my friends weekly or monthly.
But I know they’re my friends, and they know it too.
Conclusion on maintaining friendships after marriage
Maintaining friendships after getting married takes lots of effort from you and your friends.
And you may not see each other the way you used to.
But you can always find ways to connect.
You don’t have to see your friends every day or week, to know you’re still good.
Real friends can go months without talking.
But when they do, they will continue like it was just yesterday.
Also, they understand your lives have taken different turns, and you all can adjust and still be friends.
Boom! 7 tips for maintaining friendships after marriage.
I hope this post was helpful to your situation.
All the best.
See you in the next post.
If you enjoyed reading 7 Smart Tips For Maintaining Friendships After Marriage, you’d also enjoy reading these posts:
- What To Do When Your Friends Dislike Your Partner
- Living Together Before Marriage – 9 Great Benefits
- Is Marriage Boring? 10 Sensible Reasons Why It Isn’t
- 17 Serious Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage
- He Doesn’t Want Marriage After Five Years – Should I Leave Him?
- I’m Having An Affair With A Married Man – I Want To Call His Wife
- 33 Smart New Year’s Resolutions For Your Relationships
- When Your Friends Set You Up With Guys- What To Do
- 7 Reasons Why Long-Distance Relationships Don’t Work – What To Do Instead