Most people are scared of marriage, and it is okay to be afraid.
People are fearful of many things.
But telling lies about marriage is just misleading.
These lies may hold you back if you aren’t married and want to be married someday.
I’ve heard people talk B.S about marriage because it didn’t work for them or someone they know.
Some people even bring back stuff that happened long ago.
And claim that’s what happens in marriages today.
And I thought I’d shed some positive light on marriage. To help you see it from someone in a good marriage.
So in this post, we’ll discuss nine lies people tell about marriage and why you should ignore them.
9 lies about marriage to scare you from getting married
1. Everything changes once you’re married
If you know your partner well, nothing will change when you tie the knot.
And knowing them well means living together for months before you decide to get married.
But as usual, some people frown at the idea of living together before marriage.
They think life is a fairytale.
And believe you’ve taken the magic out if you lived with your partner before marriage.
When you move in together after marriage, there’s some magic to experience.
Look! There’s no friggin magic.
Stop taking Disney movies too seriously.
Some couples don’t live together before marriage for religious reasons.
And that’s their choice.
But since I’m not religious, I believe there are many benefits for couples living together before marriage.
You’d understand each other on a deeper level.
And you’d know if they’re someone you want to be with for the rest of your life.
So when you finally tie the knot, you’d continue your lives as you were before the wedding.
After all these years, nothing has changed in my marriage.
If at all, things got better.
Please read Living Together Before Marriage – 9 Great Benefits.
2. The lie that marriage benefits the man more
Marriage is between two people.
You and your spouse are in it together.
So whatever your spouse benefits, you benefit too.
And the notion that a man benefits more from a marriage is a big lie.
I saw a comment where a wife said the man goes to work and gets more advanced, learns new tech, and stays ahead of his wife.
While the wife stays home, she doesn’t learn anything new about tech.
She stays on the couch all day and gets obese and depressed.
No one is stopping you from progressing as a person in your marriage.
As your husband goes to work and learns all this new stuff, why can’t you ask him about them?
Besides, the internet is available to use as we like.
So it is on you if you are not learning new stuff or taking your health seriously.
And let’s not forget that this couple possibly weren’t communicating with each other.
That’s why things got this bad.
And it is not every marriage that ends up like this.
That’s why it’s crucial you know who you are marrying.
3. All couples fight
Everyone says every couple fights.
I’ve said it so many times.
But I’m going to rephrase it that every couple argues.
And the more you know each other, the fewer arguments you’d have.
And again, the thought that every couple argues means the marriage isn’t working is taking it to the extreme.
Lots of couples argue and make up and have a stronger bond.
While some couples were incompatible from the onset, hence the frequent arguments and fights.
Or some couples don’t know how to communicate, so they argue more often than not.
Couples are different.
If you don’t know who you’re marrying, unnecessary arguments will continue.
So please take your time and know your partner before moving to the next stage.
Please don’t focus on unimportant stuff like magic.
Use the dating period to know each other well.
And arguments will occur less frequently.
Or you’d know how to resolve issues better.
4. You must have kids
Today, you can choose to have kids or not.
And they’d say, “you must have kids when you get married,” because some people do not discuss the important things.
Before you get married, you must ask yourselves some essential questions.
Please read 17 Serious Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage.
If you don’t want to have kids, don’t marry someone who wants kids.
Now, having kids can change things in a marriage.
You’d miss critical discussions when focusing on the wedding instead of the marriage.
If you and your partner never discussed kids before marriage, it can be a problem down the road.
Because your partner may think you want kids because they do, and vice versa.
That’s why you must have the discussion.
So having kids in your marriage is between you and your spouse.
5. Marriage is boring
You must have heard “marriage is boring” so many times.
I wrote a post about it.
Please read: Is Marriage Boring? 10 Sensible Reasons Why It Isn’t.
If you think married couples don’t play, think again.
Most married couples still play the way they did while dating.
They still kiss, make love, tell jokes, and do all the regular things you do when dating.
But I don’t blame people that say marriage is boring.
Maybe they’ve only seen bad marriages with lots of drama.
Or they perceive happy couples as boring.
Because happy couples aren’t looking for anyone’s approval or trying to be your “couple goals.”
So if you and your boyfriend remain sweet and kind to each other, your marriage will not be boring.
6. Your husband will never help with chores
The lie about marriage that your husband will never help with house chores is widespread.
It implies that the wife does all the house chores while he puts his feet up and relaxes.
I call B.S on that.
Hehehe. I’m always calling B.S.
Why your spouse doesn’t help you
Some people don’t take their time to know who they’re getting married to.
Did your partner share chores with you while dating and living together?
If they didn’t, and you knew it was necessary, why didn’t you call it out then?
Okay, now you’re married, and your spouse doesn’t share chores with you.
What you can do
Why don’t you ask your husband to help you?
Or are you the type that feels your way is the best?
So you do everything yourself because nobody does it as well as you?
And if your spouse doesn’t know how to clean.
Are you willing to show them if they’re eager to learn from you?
Answer these questions before you say your spouse isn’t helping with house chores.
There are lots of excellent and supportive husbands out there.
And their wives appreciate them.
Some wives even sing their praises on social media.
But the voices that claim husbands are not supportive are louder.
That’s why you don’t hear much about good husbands.
Or maybe we listen to more bad information than we do to good news.
7. You must do everything together once you’re married
You don’t have to do everything together when you’re married.
While it is great to spend lots of time with your partner.
It is also healthy to spend time apart.
So you can do things that interest you, and your partner does his own thing.
What does this mean?
Sometimes go out with your girlfriends.
And your husband can hang out with his guys.
Everyone gets some time from each other and relates with their friends.
It is healthy for your marriage.
I recently went out for lunch with a friend, and the kids stayed home with their dad.
It was refreshing to be out of the house for a while.
And my husband had some time to himself.
So don’t buy the lie that you must do everything together once you’re married.
Remember, you have hobbies.
Once in a while, it’s essential to do those things alone and enjoy your life.
8. Your partner will cheat is another lie about marriage
Most people believe your partner will cheat on you once you’re married.
But it doesn’t make sense.
You know why?
Because cheating is a choice you make.
And many couples don’t cheat on each other.
Also, cheating is not necessarily because you’re married.
Cheating happens because the cheater wants to cheat.
And if cheating was exclusive to marriage, why do people cheat when dating?
9. Counseling is for when your marriage is in trouble
While I’ve never been to counseling my whole life, I believe some couples would benefit from it.
I know of couples that had marriage counseling before they got married.
Guess it helps because if it doesn’t, people won’t use it.
If you feel you need counseling before marriage, go with your partner.
I’ve seen church people go to marriage counseling before their wedding.
The church requires them to do it before getting married.
So do what works for you.
Conclusion on 9 lies about marriage
Boom! 9 lies about marriage people tell to scare you from getting married.
I’d add that don’t rush into marriage to live together.
In fact, live with your partner for at least 6 months before you get married.
After a few weeks of living together, no one can pretend anymore.
So you’d know each other well.
And whatever decision you make will be with a clear mind.
And you’d build a good marriage if you choose a great guy and are good to him.
I hope this helps you see marriage from a different viewpoint.
What lies about marriage have you heard?
Please share them in the comments.
Thanks for reading.
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