You may be thinking, why is marriage boring?
Well, I’d say marriage is not boring.
How a marriage progresses or turns out depends on the couple.
From my experience of being married for seven years, marriage feels like dating and living together.
So let’s talk about why marriage is not boring and what you can do about boredom in marriage.
10 Reasons Why Marriage Is Not Boring
Like any other relationship, marriage will face both good and bad times.
But how it fares depends on you and your partner.
Experts have said it repeatedly that marriage takes effort from both partners.
However, most of us are looking for fun in everything.
And when we’re not having fun all the time, you think your life or marriage is boring.
These are some reasons why marriage is not boring.
1. It is like dating
When you’re dating and living together, that’s what marriage is like.
The only difference is that you’ve tied the knot and vowed to stay together forever, and it is now on paper.
And the best part is that you don’t miss your partner because you’re together daily.
And if you’re invested and in love with your partner, everything flows daily.
While you may think you’d get bored because you see your spouse all the time, you won’t.
At least for me.
2. Your life can become routine
Another reason you’d say marriage is boring is that your life becomes routine.
Yes, that’s true.
But sometimes routine is good because it gives you control over some situations.
You know what to do every weekday morning, evening, and weekend.
Part of that routine is making time to spend with your partner.
Tell me that spending time with your spouse isn’t something to look forward to every evening.
Once your kids – if you have any – are in bed, it’s all quiet, and you two are hanging out.
That’s one of the best things ever.
Of which dating can also be routine.
You work all week and maybe see twice a week.
Or spend the weekend together.
Or if you live together, you go to your separate jobs and hang out in the evening.
Isn’t that routine?
I think it is.
3. You become good friends
Another reason marriage isn’t boring is that you become good friends with your spouse.
You have your private jokes and other ways of communicating.
Your partner knows what you like, and you know what he enjoys.
Also, you know what upsets them, and don’t do it.
When you fight, you have your way of talking about it and making up.
And your partner knows how to cheer and get you out of the funk.
That’s what good friends do for each other.
4. You feel safe
When you’re married to someone you love that loves you too, you feel safe.
You have seen what they will do to protect you.
And you can be vulnerable with them, and they can and will comfort you.
It is beautiful.
5. You don’t have to prove yourself
After being married for years, you don’t have anything to prove to each other anymore.
You’ve seen each other repeatedly, well dressed, and also with your messy morning faces.
Your partner still loves you even when you think you’re a mess.
Because he sees you beyond the makeup and stuff.
You’d still look sexy to him in your pajama pants.
Is that boring?
I think not.
6. Married couples still play with each other
Who said you can’t play with your spouse the way you used to while dating?
There are no special rules for playing when married.
Except for cheating, that’s a game that’s not accepted in marriage.
Besides that, married couples still play and have fun in their homes.
Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it never happens.
Also, they may not play like everyone else, but they have their way of playing.
My mom and dad used to tease each other’s hometown.
And we all laughed about it.
But you’d hardly see them run after each other.
That’s something younger couples like John, and I do a lot.
7. Overly romantic marriages are unrealistic
Let’s face it, overly romantic marriages are not realistic.
Who has the time to be romantic every day?
Yes, once in a while, it’s okay to do something special for your spouse.
But buying gifts, flowers, and singing you a love song every day is unrealistic.
Do you know what’s realistic?
- Smiling at your spouse,
- serving each other,
- doing chores together,
- Saying thank you,
- showing interest in each other’s struggles and wins,
- listening to them vent,
- Giving hugs and little kisses, etc.
So if any of the above makes marriage boring, then boring is good.
8. You learn to enjoy other things
Another way you can tell that marriage isn’t boring is because you can enjoy new things with your partner.
I never watched anime until I met John.
And we watched several popular ones.
Now we can talk and laugh about the characters.
And we also enjoy watching football games when our team is playing.
Also, I’ve convinced John to watch some of my favorite series and movies.
So it’s a win-win.
9. There’s more trust, less drama
There’s more trust and less drama when you’re married to a good person.
Again it comes from spending time together and forming a tight bond.
And because you both value what you have, you’re not out there looking for what’s not missing.
You’re not doing anything stupid to jeopardize your marriage.
10. You’d know what’s important
When married, you’d understand what’s important – your family.
Your family’s well-being and happiness will be the top priority, not anyone outside your union.
And even if you’re not anyone’s couple goals, you’d still be content and happy in your marriage.
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What to do about boredom in marriage
But then again, there’s boredom in marriage. You are bored of each other, but it is not the end.
And it can stem from many factors like:
- Lack of intimacy in the bedroom.
- Bringing work home.
- Stress that comes with raising kids
- Depending on your spouse for everything
- Comparing your life to your friend’s, and many more.
With these tips, you and your spouse can work together to fix it.
Make time for intimacy.
When intimacy is lacking, spouses begin to draw apart.
If you’re consistently not in the mood, the other person would feel like they’re not good enough for you.
That’s when you start avoiding each other.
So get spontaneous. It doesn’t have to be in the bedroom all the time.
Try other rooms in your house, especially when you both are alone.
Spend time with friends
Make time and hang out with your friends.
You need that dynamic to balance things.
And while you’re out with your girls, you will miss each other and look forward to being together again.
Remember to kiss each other every day.
Look, it is not hard to hold your spouse and kiss them.
- kiss when you wake up,
- during breakfast,
- as you leave for work,
- when you get back,
- while walking past each other in the hallway,
- Please kiss each other as many times as you can.
It shows you love and are still in love with them.
Make time for self-care
Another way to keep boredom out of your marriage is to do what you love and enjoy.
Treat it as a form of self-care.
I love to take long walks to clear my head and enjoy the neighborhood.
It reminds me there is still me asides from my husband and children.
Find your self-care thing and do it.
Find a hobby you both enjoy and do it together.
What hobbies do you and your spouse have in common?
Make time for it, and do it.
By now, you know I watch a lot of TV with my husband.
We always watch football, movies, anime, and whatever together.
And he would wait for me to come to sit down before we start watching because we love to do it together.
Get professional help
If you’ve tried everything and nothing is working, it is best to seek professional help.
And you and your spouse need to agree to work together.
You’ll be okay in the end.
Conclusion on Marriage Is Not Boring
So is marriage boring? I don’t think so.
But then again, a boring marriage is the kind that stands the test of time.
They’ve worked through the hard times.
And are now enjoying the good quietly.
Life isn’t fun all the time.
Enjoy marriage with your partner without looking for an audience, and you’d be happy.
I hope this post helps you see how marriage isn’t boring.
And what you call boring is a sign of a good marriage.
Thanks for reading.
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