Do you think it’s impossible to communicate with your partner without fighting?
Or do you believe arguments in a relationship mean it is the end?
While it looks like talking with your spouse is hard, it isn’t.
You only need to take a step and speak like an adult.
And in this post, you’ll learn how to talk with your partner without fighting.
15 Tips on how to talk with your partner without fighting
My husband and I used to argue a lot.
And it was mostly my fault because of how I approached conversations.
I used to complain about everything instead of talking about it.
And what I failed to see then was that he listens when I talk to him like a grown person.
And he apologizes or something.
But when I approach him with a loud voice, he ignores me, making me even madder.
However, with time, I understood how he operates.
And I started communicating with him that way.
And now we have fewer arguments.
So from my experience of being together for nine years, here are 15 tips for talking to your partner without fighting.
1. Avoid name-calling
When arguing with your partner, avoid name-calling at all costs.
Because insulting your partner only escalates the issue.
And it also shows you’re weak.
And your only way of communicating is when you’re taunting your partner with mean words.
In case you don’t know, name-calling is a form of verbal abuse.
And it is unacceptable in any relationship.
So please don’t engage in it when talking with your partner.
2. Listen to what your partner has to say
When talking to your partner, make sure to listen to them.
This means listening and not talking over them.
Let him finish his point, and then you can say yours.
But interrupting when they’re talking will not help anything.
3. To communicate with your partner, don’t attack them
I used to attack my husband a lot when I was upset about something he did.
But it never works because you only upset the person you’re trying to talk to.
I’m not saying to hide your emotions. Please do you.
But talk in a way that helps your partner understand what you’re upset about.
And give them a chance to make it right.
4. Talk about issues, don’t hold grudges
The worst thing you can do is pile up several things you’re mad about.
Because the day you snap, you’d talk about what your partner did months ago.
Things they had no idea you were upset about.
And that will only worsen the situation.
How would you feel if your spouse did that to you?
So talk about stuff and settle issues as they happen.
Then move on from there.
5. Think before you talk
To communicate with your spouse without fighting, think before you speak.
First, say the words in your head and listen to how they sound.
If it sounds like it would hurt, then don’t say it.
Once you say the words, you can’t take them back.
6. Ignore the small stuff to communicate better with your partner
Another way you can communicate with your spouse without fighting is to ignore the small stuff.
Sometimes, my husband leaves a coffee mug on the table.
And I’d talk and nag about it.
But if you think about it, it’s just a friggin mug.
So why am I making a big deal about it?
But the funny thing is, he rarely talks when I leave stuff around.
So when I see things I don’t like, I fix them instead of nagging about them.
And I’m intentionally giving him grace because he gives me lots.
7. Focus on the matter
When talking about pressing issues with your partner, stay on topic.
Don’t pick up several things and fight about them.
Avoid saying, “Today you did XYZ. “
Or yesterday, you said ABC and keep going on and on.
When you do that, it looks like you’re hungry for a fight.
And you’d find any reason to fight with your partner.
8. Don’t go back in time
If every time you argue with your partner, you go 10 years back to bring up stuff; you’d get nowhere.
And it’s even worse when you have dealt with and resolved the issue.
Your partner would be annoyed that you don’t let past arguments stay in the past.
It’s similar to the point above. Focus on what you are talking about now.
Let the past be past.
9. How to communicate with your spouse without fighting? Don’t get defensive
Don’t get defensive when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
Staying on guard only skews your response.
Because you’d be waiting for them to say that thing you want to hold and fight over.
So keep your defenses down, and know your partner is not attacking you.
They’re only trying to talk to you.
10. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt
I know this feeling.
You’ve played the scenario in your head several times.
And you think you already know how the conversation would go.
Maybe you assumed your partner would act a certain way. And you’d say or do XYZ.
Doing so means you can’t even give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
If you keep assuming, you’d only make things worse.
As they say, “assumption is the mother of all mistakes.”
But if you give your partner a chance, they may surprise you.
11. Be wise about your timing
We’ve seen it in movies and maybe in real life.
Where the offended party waits.
And pounces on the offender as they walk through the door.
That’s not how you communicate with your partner.
Please give them time to rest after a long day, whatever.
Before you talk about what’s bothering you.
Doing so would make them more inclined to talk and discuss matters with you.
12. To communicate with your partner without fighting, don’t generalize.
Your partner is one person.
So if you have issues with your spouse, talk to him about them.
Please don’t bunch your partner up with everyone else.
Or say things like, “well, that’s how all of you behave.”
I’m sure you won’t like it if he did that to you.
So talk to your partner like the person you chose to be with.
Not the guys that hurt you in the past.
13. Avoid talking to your partner like a child
To communicate with your spouse without fighting, quit talking to him like he’s a child.
If you nag him, he won’t listen to you.
So talk to him the way you talk to people you respect.
And he will do the same for you.
14. To communicate without fighting, let go of your need to be right
Trying to be right all the time will not get your message across.
So to communicate with your partner without fighting, let go of your need to be right.
You can’t always be right.
Also, if you feel you’re always right, does it mean your partner is always wrong?
And they are never right?
Besides, trying to be right always; shows you’re more concerned about how others see you.
Not actually trying to make sense or anything.
So you’d say or do odd things to win an argument.
15. Apologize when you’re wrong
Learning to apologize to your partner can help you communicate without fighting.
Let’s say your partner didn’t like the way you talked to them about leaving the toilet seat up.
Try to apologize for raising your voice at him, especially for something so minor.
And the apology is “I am sorry,” not “I apologize.”
No, that’s unacceptable.
A proper apology is “I’m sorry for yelling at you.”
See, it’s easy to say.
If you loved reading 15 tips to communicate without fighting, you might also enjoy reading these posts:
- Is Marriage Boring? 10 Sensible Reasons Why It Isn’t
- What Is The Purpose Of A Romantic Relationship? | Why I’d Rather Be In It
- 18 Clear Signs He Doesn’t Care About You (Ditch Him)
- 17 Serious Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage
- Why Your Husband Prefers His Friends Over You – What To Do
- 27 Tips For A Happy Marriage For Young Couples
- What To Do When Your Friends Dislike Your Partner
Boom! How to communicate with your partner without fighting.
To communicate with your partner without fighting, you must:
- Avoid name-calling
- Listen without interrupting
- Don’t attack
- Talk about issues, don’t hold grudges
- Think before you talk
- Overlook the small things
- Focus on the matter
- Don’t go back in time
- Don’t get defensive
- Give the benefit of a doubt
- Be wise about your timing
- Don’t generalize
- Avoid talking to them like a child
- Let go of your need to be right
- Apologize. Say, “I’m sorry,” not “I apologize.”
So that’s how to talk to your partner without fighting.
I hope you find these tips helpful.
Thanks for reading.
Please share this post. It would mean the world to me.
See you in the next one.