I Want To Be A Stay-At-Home Wife – What To Know, Pros & Cons
Some of us think stay-at-home wives are lazy.
While some think our lives are full of fun and lounging all day.
This post will discuss what you must know before you become a stay-at-home wife.
And we’ll also cover the pros and cons of being a stay-at-home wife.
How I Became a stay-at-home wife
Before we got married, my husband and I both worked nine-to-five jobs.
But after having kids, working and managing a family became challenging.
So when I fell pregnant with our second baby, I had to stop working.
I stopped working because I had had enough of some of my colleagues.
And dealing with their attitude and being pregnant was too much for me.
So I talked with my husband, and we agreed that I could resign from the job.
And my hubby was earning very well.
So he was able to carry the family.
And being someone that likes to earn money, I went full force into my hat-making business.
And made some money from home.
Until my husband started grad school.
He’s in grad school, and I’m a stay-at-home wife with a blog business I run from home.
And we’re happy.
What you must know before becoming a stay-at-home wife
1. Being a stay-at-home wife can be stressful
Yes, you read that right.
Being a stay-at-home wife is not easy.
If you’re running from your day job because you think stay-at-home wives have it easy, think again.
I’m not saying it is the worst thing you can do.
Your day job might be more stressful, and being a stay-at-home wife might benefit you more.
But don’t think you’d be lounging and not doing anything when you become a stay-at-home wife.
The next point explains why.
2. You’d take on most of the house chores:
Because you’re at home more than your hubby.
However, you and your husband can share chores, so everyone knows what part of the house chores they’d do.
I do most of the cooking and some cleaning.
While my husband does laundry, grocery shopping, and some cleaning too.
We work together to make things function around the house.
But some husbands hardly do any chores if they make all the income for the family.
So it depends on you and what you both want for your family.
3. Your kids may not play outside a lot.
Taking your kids out to play needs mental motivation.
But every parent raises their kids differently.
There is no set way to do things when it comes to parenting.
Your culture or tradition influences your parenting style.
And if your kids go to school daily, they can learn social skills and play outside.
There is nothing wrong with them playing inside after school.
Also, if you’re not an outside person, you’d typically prefer to stay indoors more.
Sometimes you can force yourself to stay outside while the kids play.
But please don’t feel guilty for not doing what other parents are doing.
4. People will judge you.
The truth is people will judge you no matter what you do.
So you might as well do what is best for you.
Some will scorn you for not working – like you’re spending their husband’s money.
And some will judge you for not taking your kids out as much as they do.
Sometimes, these parents that run around the clock getting their kids to activities are stressed ASF.
But they’re following everyone else for fear of being judged.
Also, sometimes the kids aren’t interested in said activities – they do them for their parents.
So it’s okay if you prefer to raise your children to go to school, return home, and play inside.
What to do before choosing to be a stay-at-home wife
Discuss with your husband
Before deciding to be a stay-at-home wife, discuss it with your husband.
Talk about why you want to stay at home and not work.
Some of us think one partner staying at home is best for the kids and family.
So what’s your reason?
Do you want to spend more time with the kids and not miss their growing years?
Or will being a stay-at-home wife help you save daycare money?
Whatever your reason, do what’s best for you and your family.
We thought one of us should stay home to care for the kids after school.
And it’s working for us.
Ask yourself if you’re okay living on one income.
Some women think they can spend money as they wish when they become stay-at-home wives.
And they’d hire a maid to take care of the household while they relax.
Some even say ridiculous things like they and their husbands would be a power couple – traveling worldwide.
That’s all fantasy.
I’d love to live like that too.
But you can only live lavishly if you or your hubby is wealthy.
Okay, back to reality.
If your husband earns a regular salary and you’re living on one income, you can’t spend money without thinking.
Also, depending on how you and your husband plan things, you might have a credit card you can use for whatever.
Or your husband can put a certain amount in your bank monthly.
My hubby and I did that when I stopped my nine-to-five job.
Once his pay comes in, he wires a certain amount to my bank.
Some of the money was for taking care of the household, and the other was for doing whatever I wanted.
So it depends on you and your husband.
Ask yourself if you’re okay with not working a corporate job.
Leaving your day job and transitioning to being a stay-at-home wife might be hard for some.
So are you sure you don’t want to work nine-to-five anymore?
Think about it.
Also, if you’re used to earning money, it would be weird not to have that regular pay anymore.
It was somewhat easy for me not to look back after leaving my job because I enjoyed designing hats for women.
And I was making money added to whatever my husband gave me every month.
Also, I used to feel weird about asking my hubby for money because I was used to making money.
But my husband supported my hat-making business to ensure I was earning money from it.
So if you leave your nine-to-five, do you have other skills you can use to make money at home?
I say this because you must know what you’re doing before quitting your job.
Pros of being a stay-at-home wife
So we’ve talked about what to know and do before becoming a stay-at-home wife.
Now let’s talk about the pros of being a stay-at-home wife.
You can plan your day when you become a stay-at-home wife.
Who loves to wake up early and prepare for work while prepping the kids for school?
No one ever.
However, you’d still have to wake up early to prepare your kids for school.
But after that, you can plan what to do next.
You can sit with a cup of coffee and plan your day.
After my kids leave for school, I get a cup of coffee and gist with my hubby before or after his workout.
Then I’d pack his lunch.
Next, I’d work on my laptop or do strength training and shower afterward.
And in the afternoon, I do meal prepping and some cooking.
I do lots of cooking in one day, so we’ll have enough food in the fridge.
So there’s always a home-cooked meal for lunch or dinner.
Your day can look different from mine. And that’s okay.
You can put things off sometimes.
Some think being a stay-at-home mom means you never get a break.
Yes, moms hardly catch a break.
But you can get lots of breaks if you want to.
And that is to put some things off or plan things well.
You can pick a day to do meal prepping and cooking.
Then another day for laundry and cleaning.
But don’t try to do everything all the time.
Quit trying to be the perfect stay-at-home wife. There is no such thing.
It’s just something some women made up to make themselves feel better than others.
So if you’re tired, get some rest.
I know I say this all the time. But I’ll repeat it.
I’ve often gone to bed with a sink full of dirty plates.
Lord knows I’d put it off for tomorrow if I can’t do it now.
You’d have more time for yourself as a stay-at-home wife.
Stay-at-home wives can make more time for themselves if they want to.
I’m home alone, listening to soft music as I write this post.
I’d close my laptop, nap, or walk if I like.
And if I have to do my nails, I can go to the nail salon.
Also, I have more time to work out and live healthily.
More time for yourself can benefit your mental health.
Quit trying to do everything. Make time for yourself.
You’d spend more time with your family.
When you’re at home more, the kids are happier because they see you and spend more time with you.
Also, stay-at-home wives have more time to spend with their husbands.
My husband and I do lots of things together.
And we’re closer than we were years ago.
I’m not sure what our friendship would be like if I was still working nine-to-five.
But spending more time with him helped me enjoy some of his hobbies, and vice versa.
You won’t be too tired all the time.
As I said earlier, stay-at-home moms can put things off and have more time for family.
Unless you’re looking for perfection, you’d not always be tired.
I get tired when I cook because I make several dishes.
But I don’t cook every day.
Then sometimes, I might be tired from doing house chores, my workout, etc.
But I have days when I’m not famished.
And that’s good because it means I’d have time and energy to be intimate with my hubby.
You can take on more hobbies.
When you are a stay-at-home mom, you can find new hobbies.
Maybe you love gardening; you can learn more about it.
Think of something you’ve been thinking of doing, and start it.
Do you want to start hiking?
You can do that a few times a week when the kids leave for school.
I learned how to bake when I became a stay-at-home wife.
Now I bake biscuits, cakes, and cookies from scratch.
Sometimes I make healthy baked goods with recipes I crafted myself.
You can learn new hobbies when you are a stay-at-home wife.
Stay-at-home wives can learn new skills.
Some of us think being a stay-at-home wife means you’d have no skills.
Many stay-at-home wives learn new skills online and make money with them.
Turn on your computer and learn something new.
I learned how to blog when I was a bored, broke, stay-at-home mom in America.
I took one day at a time to learn how a blog works, and now I earn money from it.
It took me years to start making money from my blog. Just wanted to put that out there.
Blogging is profitable, but it’s not a get-rich-quick thing.
Making money from a blog takes time, hard work, and patience.
And from blogging and learning from other blogger moms, I discovered that stay-at-home moms are killing it in the blogosphere.
So don’t just sit on your butt and feel sorry for yourself that you’re no longer in the nine-to-five world.
You can learn skills at home to make money as a stay-at-home wife.
Some blogger moms even out-earn and retire their husbands.
Okay, I’m going off.
Calm down, Bree.
You can make new friends.
Making new friends depends on you.
Even if I say you can make new friends, I know it will take a while before you make one.
Also, if you stay indoors like me, you’d hardly meet people to be friends with.
But then again, you can make friends at your kids’ school.
Stay-at-home wives with small kids go to playdates a lot.
So you can make friends with the parents of your kids’ friends.
Cons of being a stay-at-home wife
There are two sides or more sides to these things. So here are the cons of being a stay-at-home wife:
It might be hard to get back into the job market later
If, for some reason, you decide you want to go back to work, you might not be current in how things work as you’ve been out for a while.
But don’t let that discourage you from wanting to be a stay-at-home wife.
You’d be okay if you learn skills online and stay up-to-date with happenings in the job market.
These days you can find templates online for writing a great resume.
Also, you can take courses online to add to your previous qualifications and apply for jobs.
And if you can work as a freelancer as many stay-at-home moms do, you won’t even dream of returning to a nine-to-five job.
You might feel weird asking your hubby for money.
As I said earlier, if you’re used to making money, you’d feel off asking hubby for cash.
And because some partners treat each other poorly when the other loses a job or stops working, you might feel your husband is mad at you.
I felt that way too.
But my husband reassured me that he wanted me to be happy.
Because he knew I was unhappy at my job.
So he supported my decision to be a stay-at-home wife.
And even now, I can ask him to help if I need something.
He supports me a lot.
So you must know your partner will support you and not make you feel less for needing some money.
It might be depressing if you have nothing to do
Some stay-at-home wives don’t have anything going on in their lives.
And this can be depressing.
But you have access to lots of information on the Internet.
So you have no excuse for not learning more and improving yourself.
Again, go online and Google what you want to learn.
Do you want to learn how to start freelancing, blogging, or even teaching?
Maybe start writing for publications in the field you used to work in your day job.
Or learn and research other topics you’re interested in, and write about them as a freelancer.
And talk about it with your hubby.
He would and should be happy to support you.
Again you won’t make quick money working online.
But with hard work and time, the money will start trickling in.
Now you have a stay-at-home business fetching you some cash.
Don’t dull yourself, stay-at-home wifey.
You’d do lots of chores.
We’ve covered this before.
Because you’re home more than your hubby, you’d do more chores.
But if you share chores, you’d do your share, and your man will do his.
If you’re not married yet and planning to be a stay-at-home wife when you do, please discuss house chores with your man.
Many couples fight because one partner does all the chores, and the other never helps.
So talk about chores and many other important things before you marry.
- 10 Clever Ways To Get Your Husband To Help With Chores
- 17 Serious Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage.
You would miss your nine-to-five job friends.
You won’t have after-work hangouts when you become a stay-at-home wife.
Your job and schedule will be a lot different.
But you can plan to meet friends when you have time.
Sometimes, I go out with my friends, and my husband stays with the kids.
Also, you might lose some friends because, in their minds, you’re no longer in the same class.
Let’s not pretend we don’t know some working women look down on stay-at-home wives.
But if you lose friends because you chose to be a stay-at-home wife, it’s one of those things.
Your real friends will always be in your life.
7 Savvy Tips For Maintaining Friendships After Marriage.
FAQs about being a stay-at-home wife
Is it wrong to want to be a stay-at-home wife?
Wanting to be a stay-at-home wife isn’t bad.
Just as there’s nothing wrong with being a career wife or mom.
Every woman is free to choose what she wants.
Discuss with your husband and do what’s best for you and your family.
Are stay-at-home wives unhappy?
Most people assume that stay-home wives are unhappy.
But that’s not always true.
Happiness is a choice.
There are lots of happy stay-at-home wives.
Just as there are many unhappy working wives.
So it boils down to your marriage.
You’d be unhappy if your marriage isn’t working, stay-at-home, or career wife.
So focus on your marriage.
Conclusion on how to be a stay-at-home wife
Being a stay-at-home wife is rewarding as you spend time with your family and care for them.
But it is also difficult sometimes, like every other hard job.
And because I’ve learned how to work from home and make money, I’m no longer interested in nine-to-five jobs.
So should you be a stay-at-home wife?
Do what’s best for you and your family.
I hope you find this post helpful.
Please share it; I’d appreciate it.
Thanks for reading.
You may find these related posts helpful:
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- 19 Marriage Tips For Wives For A Happy Union
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- How To Prioritize Your Marriage – 10 Tried & Tested Ways
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- 8 Lessons I’ve Learned In 8 Years Of Marriage
- How Marriage Transformed My Husband (And Me!) 11 Ways
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Thanks for the comment.
I’m glad you enjoyed reading my post about the pros and cons of being a stay-at-home wife.