He Wants To Date You Or Can’t Be Just Friends – Why & What To Do
He says he doesn’t want to be just friends if you can’t date him.
But you want his friendship and have no plans of being more than friends.
How do you deal with this situation?
This post will discuss why he wants to date or can’t be just friends.
And what to do if you find yourself in this position.
Let’s begin.
Why he doesn’t want to be just friends if you can’t date him
When you like a guy but are not attracted to him like that, you say you want to be just friends.
Some guys will agree to be friends but will keep asking you out.
And to stop themselves from this, they’d rather not be friends.
So here are reasons why he doesn’t want to be friends if you can’t date him:
1. He’s attracted to you.
Let’s be honest here; he’s attracted to you.
That’s why he wants to be more than friends.
And there’s nothing wrong with him finding you attractive and wanting to date you.
Also, he knows who he wants to be just friends with and who he desires more with.
That’s why he would rather stay away if you can’t date.
2. He wants a girlfriend, not a best friend, so he doesn’t want to be just friends.
As I said before, we know the kind of relationship we want with different people.
And this guy wants you to be his girlfriend, not his best friend.
Also, it would be unfair to insist on friendship when he has romantic feelings for you.
It’s not like the friendship won’t work.
But, like relationships, good friendships happen when both parties want to be friends.
So if you want different things, you might have to go your separate ways.
The relationship won’t work because you don’t want it.
Likewise, the friendship because he wants more.
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3. He can’t stand to watch you date someone else.
Another reason he can’t be friends if you won’t date him is because he can’t watch you date someone else.
When a guy has romantic feelings for you, he can’t stand to watch you date someone else.
Especially when you tell him everything about your relationships and other guys asking you out.
The worst is when he knows some guy is mistreating you.
And he can’t do anything about it.
4. You are what he wants in a partner.
He wants to be more than friends because you check the boxes of what he wants in a partner.
Especially if you’ve been friends for a while and he knows you well.
Maybe your conversations flow.
You have common interests, inside jokes, and more.
And he thinks you guys would have a great relationship.
But again, if you don’t want the same things, the friendship or relationship won’t work.
5. He thinks you’re playing games.
Sometimes we like a guy, but we play silly little games.
We want them to chase us, and we’ll keep rejecting them.
And we keep them around because we love the attention.
So maybe this guy knows you like him.
Maybe you’ve shown him several times that you like him too.
But you keep playing games.
The truth is, most guys will stop chasing you after you reject them a couple of times.
And if he’s noticed you’re playing games, he would stop altogether.
That’s probably why he says he can’t be friends if you can’t date him.
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6. He doesn’t want to be your second best
Some of us keep a guy as our second-best option in case the guy we like doesn’t want us.
And this guy doesn’t want to be who you pick when other guys turn you down.
He wants to be who you choose because you like him as much as he likes you.
And if you’re telling and showing him you don’t like him like that, he has the right not to want to be friends.
So why do you want him around if you don’t want a relationship
We must address the fact that some of us keep people around even when we say we don’t want to date them.
So why not let him go if you can’t date him?
You enjoy his attention.
You want to be just friends because you enjoy the attention he gives you.
But when a guy likes you romantically, his attention comes with other feelings.
Guys don’t just give attention to any woman.
So if he’s giving you so much attention, he sees you as more than a friend.
You want his friendship.
Another reason you keep him around is for his friendship.
But you must realize that friendships are a two-way street.
You both must want it for it to work.
So if you want friendship and he doesn’t, it won’t work.
You trust his relationship advice.
Maybe you want him around because you want and trust his relationship advice.
But it’s hard for a guy attracted to you to give you relationship advice.
Not because he’s selfish.
But because he wants to love you.
And again, he cannot stand and see you be with someone else.
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What to do if he doesn’t want to be just friends
Leave him alone
You can’t force him to if he doesn’t want to be friends.
So leave him alone.
Maybe he needs time to gather his thoughts and deal with his feelings.
He might come back and agree to be just friends.
But if he doesn’t, that’s okay too.
Don’t date him out of pity.
If you’re not attracted to him romantically, don’t date him to have his friendship.
Because that would be dating out of pity.
Also, you’ll be unhappy if your heart is not in the relationship.
And the relationship will likely fail.
So if you’re not interested in dating him, stand your ground.
But you’ll have to let the friendship go.
Please don’t be mad at him.
Please don’t be mad at him if he doesn’t want to be just friends.
He has a right not to want to be just friends, just as you don’t want a relationship.
Of course, you’ll miss his friendship.
But you must understand where he’s coming from.
And if you’ll be friends in the future, it will happen.
So let him go.
And you’ll both be okay.
But it would make sense to discuss the benefits and drawbacks of dating this person.
The perks and pitfalls of dating him when he doesn’t want to be just friends
It can be tricky to navigate a friend who wants to take things to the next level.
Being friends with someone is a great thing.
But when they develop feelings for you, knowing which way to turn can be difficult.
So let’s consider the pros and cons of both scenarios.
The perks of dating instead of staying just friends
If you and this guy have a strong connection, taking things further has several potential benefits.
You can share experiences and discover new things about each other.
And to get to know one another on a deeper level.
Being in a relationship can be a great way to explore a different level of companionship and intimacy.
The pitfalls of dating him
You might feel pressured to date him, negatively affecting your relationship.
Also, the relationship will likely fail if you’re not attracted to him.
Lastly, you’ll both be hurt because he’s giving you love as he has all these feelings for you.
But you’re not reciprocating.
Or you’re forcing yourself to act the part.
The drawbacks of being just friends with him
Let’s say he agreed to be just friends with you; here are some potential drawbacks:
You’d miss his attention because he will withdraw and not be as close anymore.
Or you might start finding him attractive when you see him with someone else.
It happens.
Which can ruin your friendship.
And also, he might get hurt watching you date someone else.
Making the right decision whether to date him or lose the friendship
There’s no easy answer when deciding whether to date him or lose his friendship.
Ultimately, deciding who you will date or keep as platonic friends is up to you.
Remember, no one can and should pressure you to date them.
And if you’re still unsure, talk to your friends about it.
Maybe they can offer a different perspective.
Conclusion on why he doesn’t want to be just friends
It can be confusing when someone likes and finds you attractive and wants more than friendship.
But you don’t feel the same way.
It happens more than we know.
But letting him go is okay if he’d rather not be friends because you can’t date him.
Thanks for reading.
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See you in the next one.
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