Are you struggling to maintain a platonic friendship with a married man?
Managing this relationship without crossing the line into something unseemly can be challenging.
But with the right mindset and boundaries, you can have a healthy friendship.
This post will discuss how to be platonic friends with a married man.
And also talk about some signs that the friendship may be heading in the wrong direction.
So you can check and steer yourself on the right path.
Whether you’re already friends with a married man or thinking of being one, keep reading for helpful tips.
How to be platonic friends with a married man
As I said in the introduction, friendship with a married man requires healthy boundaries.
And I’ve been on both sides of this situation.
I was close friends with a guy before he met his wife.
And when I met her, we got along well and became good friends.
Also, I’ve had to deal with my husband’s female friends.
Most knew the boundaries, and some tried to play silly games.
Which ended up affecting the friendship.
So here are ways to maintain a platonic relationship with a married man:
1. Set clear boundaries from the beginning.
To be friends with a married man, you must make it clear from the onset that your friendship is strictly platonic.
And that you respect his marriage and commitment to his wife.
Also, avoid flirting with him, whether playfully or not.
Just keep all of that out of your mind.
So your friendship doesn’t lead to something else.
2. Respect his family
Another tip for being platonic friends with a married man is to respect his family.
Please don’t meddle in his marriage or offer marital advice.
Also, one thing I notice that some women do when they’re friends with a married man is:
- They start thinking they’re more important than his wife.
- Or they want to give him unsolicited advice.
- Some outright ignore the wife even when in the same room. And focus on the husband. Chill… he’s not your husband.
Besides, if the married guy notices that you don’t respect his family or treat his wife poorly, that might end the friendship.
Because guess what?
His wife and his family are more important to him than your friendship.
3. Respect yourself when you’re friends with a married man
Another thing to do if you want to stay friends with a married guy is to respect yourself.
You should maintain boundaries even if you were friends before he married his wife.
And this means not texting him constantly.
Or asking for undeserved favors.
You can ask his wife if you need him to help you with something.
And she would give her husband the message.
But you’re crossing the line if you go behind her back to ask her husband a favor.
And that might be the beginning of the end of your friendship with her husband.
4. Avoid spending time alone with him.
Another way to stay platonic friends with a married man is to avoid spending one-on-one time with him.
Avoid intimate hanging out with him, whether in public or private.
Because we all know what happens when two adults begin to spend lots of alone time together.
One person or both start catching feelings.
Alone time is for you and your partner.
Or him and his wife.
5. Watch your feelings
Sometimes you can’t help but develop feelings for someone.
But remember that romantic feelings or flirting with the married guy can turn your platonic friendship upside down.
So watch your feelings.
And if you notice you’re falling for him, you can distance yourself from the friendship.
8 Signs your friendship with a married man is unseemly
Being friends with a married man can be okay.
But you might start looking for more unknowingly if you get too comfortable.
These are some signs your friendship with a married man is inappropriate:
1. You get jealous when he mentions his wife.
Most happily married people talk about their spouses a lot.
And if you get jealous when he talks about his wife, it’s a sign you want more.
You want him to only talk about you.
2. You talk about him to other people a lot.
You may be falling for him if you’re always talking about this married guy.
You might not even notice that you talk about him all the time.
But talking about him with your friends shows you want more for the friendship.
3. You’re always trying to get his attention.
Another sign you’re developing feelings for the married guy is when you do things to get his attention.
It could be little things like talking to him about your outfits.
So he can look at you.
Or you give him compliments that only partners should give each other.
4. You have a problem with his wife.
I know someone who always complained about other men’s wives.
She’s always comfortable with the guys.
But cannot stand their wives.
She’d say, “The guy is cool, but his wife is…”
My first reaction is always:
- Why do you have a problem with his wife?
- Is there something you do that she’s noticed?
- Are you getting too comfortable with her husband?
If you have a problem being friends with his wife, your friendship might be inappropriate.
I’m not saying you must be best buds with his wife.
But just be nice and acknowledge her, that’s all.
If you’re actively shunning her and still friends with her husband, it’s a sign you’re looking for more.
5. You want him to spend more time with you.
If you’re actively looking to spend time alone with him, it’s a sign your friendship is inappropriate.
Knowing he’s married and asking to go to dinner or coffee is crossing the lines.
Because that’s what people who have a thing for each other do.
6. You ask for outrageous favors.
Another sign your friendship with a married man is not pure is when you ask for favors that require him to be alone with you.
Once a guy is married, you can’t ask him for absurd favors.
Even if he’s handy, he’s not your handyman.
7. You hide your conversations with him from your partner
Another sign your friendship with a married man is abnormal is when your partner doesn’t know about him.
Or maybe your partner knows about him.
But you hide some things from him because you’re not proud of the friendship.
8. You text him a lot and at odd hours.
It’s okay to text your friends once in a while.
But you can’t go telling a married man that you miss him.
Please stop it.
Also, if you find yourself texting him at night, your friendship will go to a new level.
It could be a sign that you want more.
FAQs about being platonic friends with a married man
Can you be friends with a married man?
Yes, you can be friends with a married man if you agree that your friendship is platonic.
Is it okay to be friends with a married man?
Yes, it’s okay to be friends with a married man.
Again know your boundaries.
You can’t try to be best friends even if you knew him before his wife.
And if you met him after he married his wife, she still comes first.
What is a platonic relationship with a married man?
A platonic friendship with a married man is a non-romantic friendship.
You both know that you’re just friends.
You say hello at work, school, or wherever.
And you don’t flirt with each other.
Or even romantically think about them.
Can a married man have a platonic relationship with another woman?
Yes, a married man can have a platonic relationship with another woman.
But the relationship becomes romantic if he or the woman starts looking for more.
Most married men that love and respect their partners would cut off a friendship when the “friend” starts looking for more.
Wrapping it up: it’s possible to be friends with a married man
In conclusion, you can be good friends with a married man if you maintain healthy boundaries and respect his family.
Never think you’re there to replace his wife.
And if your friendship starts growing into something else, please respect yourself and cut it off.
Also, remember that his wife would feel uncomfortable with your friendship.
And you can put yourself in her shoes if you’d be okay with another woman being so close to your husband.
So be respectful, know your boundaries, and you might even become close friends with his family.
Anyway, that’s my two cents on the matter.
If you find this post helpful, please share it.
Thanks for reading.
See you next time.