When I started dating my boyfriend, now husband, some of my friends had reservations.
Some gossiped about the age difference since he’s five years younger than me.
But my mind and heart were set on him.
So I ignored all the noise and stayed with my man.
We’ve been happy together for 10 years.
And just celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary.
This post will discuss what to do when your friends don’t like your partner.
What to do when your friends don’t like your partner
1. Listen and hear them out.
When your friends don’t like your partner, ask them why.
Listen calmly with an open mind.
The more you let people talk, the more you’d hear.
And that’s how you’d know if they’re coming from a place of love or envy.
You can try to defend him and change their minds if you like.
Honestly, I didn’t do that with my friends.
I knew I was with a good guy and didn’t need anyone’s approval.
Anyway, take what they say, and move to the next point.
2. Talk to your man
Now, you’re going to tell your partner that your friends don’t like him.
That’s if he didn’t notice it himself.
My husband noticed how some of my friends acted the first time they met him.
One of my friends couldn’t hide her dislike or reservations about him.
But I let her do her nonsense.
And she showed me the kind of person she truly is. That’s by the way.
Okay, back to your man.
The talk you’d be having with him is not to convince him to change.
It is to make him aware of the situation if he doesn’t know already.
So he won’t look goofy around your friends.
Also, he might not care about their disliking of him.
And you know what?
Your boyfriend has his personality, and you like him.
That’s all that matters.
He’s not for them to like.
You’re the one he’s dating.
Not your friends.
Always remember that.
I know we want our friends and lovers to mesh.
But that’s not always going to be the case.
3. Let it go because some people will never gel
Another thing you can do if your friends don’t like your partner is to let it go.
I’m not saying end your relationship. Or cut your friends off. No!
Just come to terms with the fact that some people will never gel. And that’s fine.
You can’t make them like him.
Sometimes, they’ve made up their minds.
Don’t try to change it. Seriously, don’t.
Also, don’t force your partner to act in specific ways to please your friends.
Both parties will detest you for it.
Worst of all, you may end up losing a good man.
So don’t try to over-engineer everything.
With time everything will be alright.
7 Reasons why your friends don’t like your man
Your friends may dislike your man for several reasons.
Some could be from a place of genuine concern.
But sometimes, it is just for selfish interests.
Hopefully, these points will help you see why your friends don’t like your guy.
1. They think you’re changing.
Once you get into a romantic relationship, some friends would say you’re changing.
Maybe they don’t see you that often anymore.
So they resent your partner for taking their place in your life.
Now it’s left to you to convince them that you haven’t changed.
But you have your romantic life, and they are supposed to understand.
2. Your friends don’t like your significant other because they like your ex
Another reason your friends don’t like your partner is because they prefer your ex.
And it is your job to let them know you have moved on from your ex.
So they can’t or shouldn’t mistreat your new guy because they prefer the former one.
3. Your friends don’t like your partner because they are jealous
Remember I said to listen to why your friends don’t like your significant other.
And when listening, you’d understand why.
Sometimes it is out of jealousy.
They’re jealous you found a good guy. And maybe they don’t have one.
Or they were secretly competing for who will find a man first.
And you are winning a competition unawares.
That can lead to jealousy.
Your friends are supposed to be happy for you.
Not making you feel bad for being in a good relationship.
4. Your friends dislike your partner because he doesn’t give them attention
Like it or not, some of our friends want attention from our partners.
Your friends may want him to treat them the way he treats you.
And if your partner doesn’t give them attention, they can hate him for it.
You know what?
He doesn’t owe them any attention.
Maybe your ex was more playful or friendly with your friends.
But your new guy doesn’t do that.
I had a friend who would argue with me and want my husband to take sides with her.
I’m like… “do you believe my husband would take sides with you?”
Okay, moving on.
5. They are judging him based on experience.
What most people do till tomorrow is judge relationships based on past experiences.
I learned very early in my life that you shouldn’t do that.
Your friends may judge him based on theirs, yours, or someone else’s past relationships.
One of my friends said, “Hmm, you’re dating a man from XX state. Remember, your ex was from that place. See what he did to you”.
She even cited someone who had a bad experience with a man from that same region.
But you must set them straight.
Make your girls see that everybody is different.
Or ignore the comment altogether.
6. They feel you can do better.
I laugh when I hear, “he’s not right for you. You can do better”.
In what sense?
He’s not cute enough?
He doesn’t dress the way they like?
Or do they feel he’s not up to your class?
Now, if he abuses you in any way, then “you can do better” makes sense.
But they are missing the point if it’s about looks, social status, or education.
I started dating my husband halfway into his Master’s program.
Some of my friends thought he wasn’t good enough.
They compared my boyfriend to guys I dated in the past.
But I knew what I saw in my man and how he treats me.
So I stayed with him.
7. Your friends may dislike your partner because he treats you like crap
Your friends likely don’t back your relationship because your man mistreats you.
Sometimes our partners may mistreat us. And we may not even notice because we don’t know better.
Or we think that’s the best we can get.
I was in a relationship where we never really talked.
You know when someone is waiting for you to finish talking, so they can go back to what they were doing?
Or they comment about another woman’s body in front of you.
And act like it’s normal.
Like why are you acting up?
I’ve been there.
And because you talk to your friends, they know what you’re going through.
So it is normal for them to dislike your man because they care about you.
Conclusion – what to do when your friends don’t like your partner
So you’ve listened to their reasons for disliking your man.
And your man knows this too.
If their reasons don’t make any sense, ignore them.
You are the one in the relationship.
You know what you see in your partner.
And most importantly, he treats you right.
Block out the noise.
Enjoy your relationship.
Now back to you.
What do you recommend we do when our friends don’t like our boyfriends?
Please share your tips in the comments.
Thanks for reading.
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